All Comments  for

One Shot Ch. 01

byTheRealThingg©
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Comments (16)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous09/11/11

Brandt...

When I saw the name Brandt I thought that this was using the characters from Frat House Troopers. But apart from the initial deja vu at seeing that name, it's awesome. It took me a while to realise that he'd been shot though. Me likey.

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by nomoretears0009/11/11

Okay lol...

I'm hooked :) and man, have I got questions! Can't wait for the next chapter.

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by Whitbeach109/11/11

hmmm

Yeah, I think this is gonna be a good one! Woo hoo!

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by TheRealThingg09/11/11

nomoretears00

What questions? Lol . But this is nothing compared to the harvest i LOVE that series.

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by nomoretears0009/11/11

Hey!

No bad questions, I promise, all good questions lol! Questions are good ;) and I emailed ya.

Thank ya for what you said about my Harvest!

~M

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by TheRealThingg09/11/11

Nomoretears00

I E-malied You Back !

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by Anonymous09/11/11

OK

I'm hooked! Can't wait for the next chapter. Great start.

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by Anonymous09/11/11

Just a Feeling....

I don't know why but I have a feeling that I have read this story or something very similar to it before?????

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by Anonymous09/11/11

... That.... Sounds... Amazing...........

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by TheRealThingg09/12/11

To Anonymous

Nope Wrote It Off The Top Of My Head

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by afrodita7909/12/11

Can´t wait

It´s a greate start and hope that he does not suffer much... post the next chapter soon

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by AzanianHeat09/12/11

Awesome start

Call me twisted, but there's just something in me that has no patience for stories that are too predictably 'easy' from beginning to end. Yes, pain makes us ache; but it also makes us care more, seeing Justin devasted is part of getting to know the darkest and brightest sides of him - at least, that's the way I feel about connecting with characters.
So I love the time you're taking to explore what we would normally shy away from.

And, of course, the best bit about all this will be watching Justin grow out of this torturous beginning. If he'd started out happy and continued on to blissful... well, that wouldn't make for much of a journey, now would it? :)

Instead you've managed to open your story up to a plethora of possibilities. The various forms of joy Justin will get to experience on his rise out of unhappiness will be that much sweeter - and I can't wait for each one.

By the way, like nomoretears, I loved the way you piqued our curiosty: We have a whole bunch of characters, most of whom we still need to get to know AND then there is the big question of where to from here for Justin?
Yep, definitely an awesome start :) and you better believe I'll be back for more.

Blessings,
AH

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by le8mebee09/12/11

Beauty in tragedy..

Not to be preachy... But HOW THE HELL CAN SOMEONE DO THAT TO YOUR OWN SON??? BLOODY IDIOTS....
Sigh..I'm glad I got that out of my system...
You are an awesome writer... Plz don't stop writing...

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by whenwilli09/14/11

Ok you got me!

I am hooked and waiting for more.

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by Anonymous09/15/11

A Good Read

I like the story. You have a good mind for writing.
I do think you should have someone proofread any other stories you write...before you post them. The grammatical errors made it a tad difficult to follow in a few places. But, overall, a good story. I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

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by Anonymous09/15/11

It was a good start to a story. I look forward to learning more about the main character. The one thing I would say to help as you go on is make sure to follow through on the details. When the cop said that his parents said he fell down the stairs, it would have made sense for them to say that they knew he didn't get a bullet in his stomach from the stairs. You might want to get someone to read it over to catch little mistakes. Other than that I look forward to the next chapter.

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