All Comments on 'At Grandma & Grandpa's'

It needs to be re-edited, not a good sign to start out with "Me and Angela".

Language is good. I like the characters, like the action, but I feel it could use some more build-up. Like the grandparents dragging it out, testing their reaction and teasing for a while before they made a move.

This is a very hot story. I would love to hear more. Is it possible that gramps is a little bi as well? I think that would be very hot.

Why? What's wrong with starting it out with "Me and Angela"? Is that bad english or something, since English is not my "first language" there's always a possibility I'll accidentally throw in a grammatical error here and there. Just curious here. :)

And yes, I do agree that maybe the action was a bit rushed.. I just wrote it as I saw fit and it felt good to get to the action early on. Maybe I'll re-edit it and add some more stuff to it, to make it feel a bit more "fleshed out".

Working on chapter 2 at the moment, along with a whole bunch of other stories that still aren't finished. Just in case anyone is interested, that is.

I have no idea what the problem could be with "Me and Angela". Ok, so it's not "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times", but so what? :) It's fine. Looking forward to seeing you evolve as a writer.

Thanks for your confidence, really makes me feel like I should continue writing stories. Been a huge fan of this site for a long time now, especially the incest/taboo category, and I've written some stuff here and there but never really finishing anything.

I hope I'll be able to evolve as a writer as time goes by. Like I said, this story will continue and I hope I'll be able to finish many others and submit them as well.

Any feedback is most welcome, both positive and negative. :)

The problem with "Me and Angela" is that the correct form, in this context, is "Angela and I always had great times" If someone gave something to you and Angela, it would be "She gave it to Angela and me" It goes how you say it, but don't worry too much - it seems very few folk use correct grammar these days. If teachers don't know it they can't teach it.

A quick rule of thumb is to rewrite the sentence using "us" or "we". If you use "us", the correct form is "and me". If you use "we", the correct form is "and I".

<P>

BTW, the fact English is not your "first language" is immaterial. You CHOOSE to write in English, therefore you are required to learn proper grammar.

The only reason I chose to write my stories in english rather than my native language is that more people would get to read them and understand them. Furthermore, I'm pretty good at english as things are, but a few mishaps with the grammar are bound to happen every now and then. Sometimes those things slip through the spellchecks, you know what I mean?

I'll try to re-edit that sentence though, since it apparently gets to some people. :)

A nice story. I really enjoyed it and am delighted that you plan to carry it on for a bit. I hope the characters in your stories will not be intimidated by ole' Anonymous. It intrigues me that he is quite comfortable with trans-generational incest but regards mixed tense pronouns as mortal sin. It might be nice, for variety, to use a few plural pronouns but only if your characters are comfortable with it. We write for effect - not to submit our defenseless characters to the tyranny of the grammar police.

First off i loved the story but i cant restrain myself from calling out the douche bag who is criticizing the grammar. Im a native english speaker who is well educated in grammar and i didnt even pick up on those "problems." Seriously that person needs a life, badly!

I loved it, please write part 2!

Thanks for all the feedback guys, I really appreciate it! Don't worry, I won't let some anonymous comments daunt me, after all.. they didn't even bother to sign up, and yet they critisize me? I may not be a master writer, but at least I try.

Anyhoo, part 2 should be completed fairly soon. Just need to find a good way to end it, then do some spell checking and rewriting to hopefully make it flow smoother (and I gotta check that grammar, right?) and all that. Part 2 should be a bit longer than the first one, but I just don't know how much longer.

Don't know how many parts this story will have, if it feels good and I have some logical reason to carry on with it, it'll continue. I have some more ideas in store beyond part 2, so you can at least look forward to a part 3 as well.. maybe more.

What a great story,Had me wet while reading this

I wish i can suck that grandma's big tits

God I want to something like that