All Comments on 'Fat Bottom Sister'

"I've been a hobby writer for nearly 15 years." I see the hobby part.

"I've submitted and have been acknowledged for several pieces of work on a variety of platforms." Funny how you don't say HOW you were acknowledged, although I imagine it wasn't too farvoribly.

"I specialize in editing plot, characterization, and making sure the story holds together." EPIC FAIL. After what I read, you didn't edit anything.

All you wrote was hate. There is absolutely no reason for this. If you dont like the story and you feel the need to say so then do it. But attacking like you did just shows you are an ass. So to you I say... from the bottom of my balls, blow me.

To the author, I liked the story. I would have used different phrasing in some places, and a different set up but thats me. I would also have written it to leave it open to continue. What about her wiccan coven? You might have drawn it out more and built up the anticipation. I would recommend looking at some of the other incest authors with high marks and see what they have done and see if that might work with your style. Ahabscribe is a goog one to look at.

Anyway thankyou for your story and dont let jackasses like that get to

Dan

One of the worst stories I have ever wasted my time on.

didn't bother to read if it got such bad comments i won't waste my time on it delete it and try again

Keep up the good work man!

but towards the end was fucking bizarre. "Fuck me or I'll tell the cops that you raped me"? WTF? ANd this whole, I'm not a ladies man but I'm the best looking, most intelligent, most fuckable guy in the high school, just ask the science teacher...is pure bullshit! I give you a 1/5.

Let me say there is no need for hateful comments. It is quite easy to be anon and spew hate. If you feel the need to be hateful, log on and use a real name to spew and own it. I've read worse stories here for sure. The plot started to get pretty twisted which requires a bit more story coverage. Flesh this out both before and after. It looks like a first, or second draft. Keep at it and find more of your story.

RS

I liked it and I think it would be a good story to develope a series out of

Far from the worst I've read, should have drawn it out, a little more background and much more on the Wiccan thing! You could have done so much more with that!

I like a story that's not afraid to get dirtier and dirtier. Yes, the setup was a little self-contradictory but the progression was hot and trashy, the way I like 'em! Well, one way anyway.

and that makes it REALLY bad.

I appreciate the effort, it has a lot of things I really like: fat chicks, sister sex, anal sex, snuggling leading to sex, lot of good stuff.

But the haters have a point, it really isn't written well, cut the entire rape suggestion, spend more time working up to the sex, and try to be a little more pleasant. I think that last part is probably the biggest thing, you come off like a total misogynist asshole, especially at the end.

One thing really strikes me here. The sister is a slut because of kids with different guys. Yet he admits to having several pieces of trailer park trash. Pot calling the kettle black. Who's really the slut?.

don't brag about how good you are at writing when you post trash. delete and never post again anywhere.

Wicca is an ancient religion that incorporates the holy sites, lakes, rivers and streams of Britain, and was the dominant religion since long before the coming of the Romans; by definition, Wicca can only exist in the land of its holy places; Wayland's Forge, Woodhenge, Avebury, Glastonbury Tor, Silbury, Uffington, the Fogu of Cornwall, the long-barrows and tumuli of Somerset, and the woods, caves and waterfalls of Brecon, Snowdonia, Cumbria and the West Country; Americans calling themselves Wicca are deluded, and their ridiculous 'Moon' rituals are meaningless, made-up gibberish. Don't even get me started on all those fools who prate on about how they're 'druids'; there's no such thing, never was, never existed, the name was made-up in the 18th century by a bunch of romantic poets in a cod ceremony on Primrose Hill in London. If you want a spiritual base, make one up yourselves from scratch, or horn-in on the Native American beliefs, but don't try and claim a grounding in, or knowledge of, something about which you know absolutely zero.

i liked the story it was one of the better ones. please post more

There is a story on this site (or used to be – do you think I can find it now?) where this cowboy ‘dude’ (which is how he was referred to throughout the tale) comes back to his ranch house (in his pickup, I kid you not, which got more description than any of the girls) to his ‘harem’ of beautiful women (number not given) who lavish him with praise for his sexual skills and what they want him to do to them yet cannot keep their own hands off each other.

He displayed near hatred for each of them, beating a black girl with a cane until she bled from her back and buttocks while still imploring him to fill her with his seed, all the while using the most abusive racist terms against her; a few more he drenches with his urine (lots of it, it seemed like gallons when I read it), and another he defecated on to her face, burying her head with his ordure, forcing her to eat what went into her mouth and the others to clean her up with their tongues.

It didn’t stop there, but I shall.

The language was poor, lots of spelling mistakes (the sort where you have extreme difficulty understanding what the word might possibly be) and grammatical errors without mentioning crimes against intelligence or logic, and the dialogue was of the most misogynistic violent sort with the women referred to in the most degrading fashion possible. It was obviously a fantasy, a dream that the author (and I use that term in the loosest possible sense) had where he was ruler of all he could see and was able to do whatever he wanted, but as a piece of writing it was a demonstration of how ill educated its originator was and that he should have paid more attention in class rather than goof around with his buddies.

And in the biography section...he claimed to be a bestselling author (no name mentioned or hinted at, of course) after attending Harvard: more fantasy fiction, obviously.

Maybe he was a bestselling author, maybe he had gone to Harvard (although I am inclined to believe that if he did it was to deliver pizza, probably to the wrong address), maybe he was just exercising his dumb down gene and talking through something he could never actually do in the real world – but I doubt it.

But back to this story. The idea was as sound as any other incest tale with a male author – girl throws herself at her brother and carries on the sexual action. Not the boy’s fault, right? The sister does the running and the brother just endures it, without any real input (other than her use of his penis and ejaculate) or interest in stopping her.

As illustrated above, I have read worse and I have read much, much better (look up the wonderful Words On Skin for an example), the one thing in its favour is that it is short - I generally give a story one page to impress or interest me, and I don’t think I would have gone on for another page on the strength of writing and the unlikeable characters (boasting about how easily he picks up girls and his intelligence, for example). I enjoyed the exploratory idea of the sex; I just didn’t enjoy the vehicle that it was riding in.

2/5

His Sister had gotten pregnant with his baby,so they could raise it to be just like Big Sister,a total slut,and both Mom and Dad could teach her (if it was a girl) to be a bisexual incestuous daughter so Brother and Sister could show her how wonderful incest could be.

Good Story but wish Bro and Sis could've stayed together and lived happily ever after.

I adore haught plumpers. Only things missing are rimming her anus between those sweet soft cheeks, and some guests. both cocks and more hawt plumpers. Luv to be rimming the plumpers. Vacumming nectars from their bungholes. kneading their awesome hangers, twist their nipples while they attempt to twist mine more than I twist theirs, with cocks constantly pummelling my rectum, and depositing gallons of sticky sweet nectar there. That's my continuation of the above seXi fantasy.

I just do not get the negative comments and picking details apart. The stories are just about people fucking and this section is about relatives. Just relax, get the burr out of your rears and enjoy most of what is happening. Hey my old cock got hard 2 times andI managed to get 2 loads to ooze out, I am a happy camper.