All Comments on 'Daddy's Slave'

its a little too short, and you rushed when you could have taken your time. and of course your lack of patience shows in not taking anytime to proofread

^actually, i couldnt have taken my time. i wanted to get the first chapter done before i went to work, I typed it on my phone ... sorry you feel it isnt up to par

I just got all wet and ready, where's the rest?????????

next addition even if short, soon!

you put yourself up for criticism

that being said, it was short and yes it was sloppy and a bit all over the place where you had her doing something but never showed her leading up to it, like taking off a jacket that she never put on

this is a venue for writers and critiques and you will get the honest if not venomous opinions of all, but take to heart when people give you clues on how to better your writing and use it to your advantage

I want to read more of this story, MAKE MORE NOW

that made we wet, please write more!!

So hot, come back soon with more please

A lot of mistakes.

Junk. Try using spell check

Worst story ever

And the point besides the extremely poor spelling get a proof reader, then read some other stories or give up no middle ground.