by aplbomr
Before you post any more, I'd learn to write a lot better if I were you. This was ok for a first time, but it could have been a lot better (and longer).
always start from the begining and go forward. at the start you said there was a back ground story that is where you should have started. as the other commenter said learn to write or use a good editor before posting. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND START AT THE BEGINING.
you wasted our time by posting only the middle of a story delete and rewrite it properly and start at the beginning.