by eileenvictoria
Since this was the first story you have posted here on Literotica and your bio does not reveal whether you are male or female, one can assume you are a relative novice at writing erotica. If so, I want to commend you for an outstanding first piece and encourage you to continue posting stories. In fact, I urge you to write a sequel to this one, since the characters and back story are set and your conclusion sets up a follow up.
Addionally, I urge you to complete the bio info.
Also, we knew it was gonna be a fantasy and not quite real, otherwise you were fucking the dead. HAAAPPPPYY 'LOWEEEEEN!!!
This is a HUGE fantasy of mine... to be Sarah... keep writing!! This turned me on so much. I can't wait to read more from you.
Very nicely written! Enjoyed it quite a lot. Thanks for sharing!
Wonderful story - very well written! Keep up the good work - really hoping to read more from you.
Definitely a good read, very well written. I'd love to see a second chapter of this story, I'd love to see Jason actually go through his fantasies and make Sarah realise hers. More, please.
This is one of my favorite stories. In particular, I love the descriptions of how her juices got everywhere. (for me, wet + unconscious = huge turn on)
If I may make one suggestion, I would replace some of the dialogue with more descriptions of the fucking. (eg, sarah's unconscious form bouncing back and forth, etc.)
i love the dialogue. i love hearing him call her names and all the things he wants to do her. hope you continue their story!
he's acting--playing a role--
which is cool--
he's great, perfect in this role--
but it's not really him
Just to be clear, this is wrong, right??? Friends does it make this ok. Theve been together before! It makes for a dark fantasy with a delightfully naieve young woman. I am more inclined to believe she knows an enjoys her friendship in a deceptive manner.... what's that mean belive me I don't know...
You do this theme well! Another five stars. Did she know? Well, did she? I came late to the party, you might say, and I hope the party not's over. I'd love to read more by you. Oh well ...