All Comments on 'School Photos Ch. 02'

The story line is a lot of fun and probably fulfills a number of fantasies for many readers. The dialogue is cute and the circumstances causing the photo sessions are reasonably believable. My only carp is that the chapters are too short to get heavily invested in the characters. But in every other way this is a good read.

Agree with the Anon: by and large very good but the bite size chapters are making it a a slightly disjointed experience to read as you release.

There also seemed to be a bit of a sudden change in Kali - one minute she's hiding under the covers, the next she's acting notchalant to his cock coming in to view, telling him to strip his boxers and giving him a handjob. Just seemed all a bit of a sudden sea change to me.

Those quibbles aside though, very enjoyable reads.

Great story line and build up but the chapters are too short. Add a few more details and you've nailed it. So far...so good!

Keep going! I agree that this one was a bit too short, but overall a good story.

I think the shortness of the story is good to draw the reader in. The story is interesting without being too over drawn

Smart, funny and very believable. I think this may be my favorite of your stories so far. As a good and caring big brother, Tim should take the photos and then show Kali “Submityourex.com”. Every girl on that site once had a guy she trusted with private photos. Boyfriends come and go, but digital photos can last forever.

Kali and Timmy have just entered some extremely dangerous territory. That said, it's a great story.

It's a really good plot. I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapter but could you please show a little more professionalism and correct the damn typos:

She did as I directed. "Not turn your head around so that you can just see me, and give me a smile."

Clearly it should be "Now turn your head...."

Doesn't it bother you? It makes it seem like you don't really care about errors, which is probably not true. If you are not good a catching errors, ask someone to do it for you. Please!

you are just like the other 99% of the writers here that don't know enough to use a good editor before posting. it really ruins a story when you idiots use the wrong word, pulls the reader right out of the spell you are casting. do a delete and rewrite using a good editor.

You know you could say the same thing nicely and get the message across even better. There is no need to be a butt you know. These people are sharing their time and creativity with us FOR FREE! If you don't appreciate or enjoy it then don't read. If you do, then show a couth or two and say thanks.

If you are so good and know so much about writing why not post yourself and leave yourself open to some critisism from people who can be nasty behing the veil of anonymity!!

Lynn

Personally the few typo's you made didn't bother me much. The story line is cute and the dialogue funny but realistic, but after all the trouble you went to in building up to Kali's handjob, it was all over very quickly. I'd like to have seen you describe that part in a little more detail. I hope you see this as constructive criticism, because overall you're doing well.