All Comments on 'Forbidden Attraction'

Very hot :) great beginning

I really liked this story, can't wait for more...

Thank you :) It took me a week just to write that alone. I love constructive criticism, and I also like ideas to jump start my imagination.

would like to see this develop into more story.

I liked your take on this kind of supernatural mating. I have a few of my own. But am still working on it.

Too bad Demetrius changed back into human form so quickly at the end. Some taboo aspects that you could explore there. Would love to read more about these two.

You can take this and make it more. It's a great start.

will there be a part 2?

From a war to a mating...it went from one to the other a little too fast to be believable. You need a little more segue there. Still, very sexy.

Quite good.. a little to fast. Your sex scenes almost sound human on human. Only small details give away a vampire is having sex with a werewolf. You need to explain in detail the difference in genetalia, the way they mate. I would imagine things look differently, taste differently, smell differently. When dogs have sex the knot stays inside the bitch holding her on his cock. Something about that might be really hot. I think this is a good first write. Re-write this again with more detail, adding some length to the story is fine. With more detail and more nuance about how different and how taboo it is for a vampire to have sex with a werewolf will add many miles to this story. Anticipation is everything so don't just rush the sex scenes. If you feel like there is too much to cover leave out some parts. Quality over quantity. I thought the anal sex part was unnecessary as it was so rushed it was essentially worthless. I'd concentrate heavily on just a few sex acts and describe them with a ton of intimate detail.

At "an ass to die for" and later, "my beautiful hair"... such self centeredness is a big turn off to me. Those descriptions of the female character should have come from the male, not herself.