All Comments on 'New Years, New Tears, New Start'

by StangStar06

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  • 98 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Can't even punctuate the description properly

Not even worth reading. This is one of the most overrated authhors on this site.

ipmwebipmwebabout 12 years ago
Nice change

Pretty good for something that was not your normal genre. Keep up the effort.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Bullshit

Hey "Anonymous" its little minds like your that gives the rest of us a bad name.

Stangstar06 is one of the better arthurs on this site. your reading free storys on a free site and you belive its ok to rip someone. Get a life you got to much time on your hands

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggabout 12 years ago
Alternately terrifying then if not funny at least diverting !

This was a disturbing read on a number of levels and I stopped a number of times only to take a deep breath & soldier onto the end. Objectively speaking this story is a failure HOWEVER it's the kind of failure that can only be authored by a VERY skilled writer.

If ' Back On the Block ' or ' Hostile Takeover ' by Stang were akin to being Francis Ford Coppola's 'Godfathers'; this story is akin to being ' One From the Heart' . It's a mess as a whole but a mess composed of some sublime elements that can be identified , admired & marveled at any given moment.

FIrst of all Stang is out of his comfort zone & trying something new ( bravo ) . The characters are purposefully skewed to caricature levels. It's a farce and yet ...one is spooked and nauseated by the dual villains self absorption & how easily Stang breaks down their twisted rationale process. It's masterfully done but very disconcerting.

The 'gang bang ' of the good girl' was never going to happen so the tension element was missing as the story lurched & sputtered to end like a overloaded Geo Metro trying to summit a mountain pass. Strong finishes are not easy& this one overheated and blew a gasket as a final note .

In summary , I'll thank the author for a ' interesting read ' . It really was s grab bag of faults & strengths & from a critical vantage point kept this reader engaged if not enthralled to the end . Again kudos to Stang for daring to deviate from formula .

MarvinSMarvinSabout 12 years ago
I smile

I smile everytime I see that a new StangStar6 story is published. I smile again when I am done reading it.

Fighting41Fighting41about 12 years ago
Good to See

That you are trying to broaden your writing style out from the comfort zone. This was a good fun first attempt at doing so. Just a few small problems where you got lost with the names think it was pg5 where you were describing Bonnie but used Francine but other than that another fine effort SS thank you

Rob ConnerRob Connerabout 12 years ago
Another Good ONE!!

Liked IT! Good Tale! Like to see Nice People Win! MORE!

Rob Conner

woodmanonewoodmanoneabout 12 years ago
Enjoyable

And a different slant. Maybe a little too predictable but a fun read none the less. There were a couple of name substitutions, but it's hard to catch every little error and they didn't really detract from the story line.

It is very difficult to read and reread a story once you feel it's ready for posting. We are writing for enjoyment in the deed and not for any monetary gain. As "unpaid authors", we don't have a staff of proofreaders and editors to go over every word.

As to the first comment from anon on 12/30, I would say this: If you feel Stang is so over rated, why do you keep reading his stories? Wouldn't it make more sense to avoid stories by a writer that you think so little of? How many other authors do you read just so you can bitch about them and their work?

I enjoy your postings and always look for you latest. I agree that you are one of the most entertaining authors on this site. Please continue to post your work and we'll continue to enjoy it.

Thanks

Woodmanone

MendonFishersMendonFishersabout 12 years ago
I enjoyed it.

Your slant on this story was very enjoyable. Keep up the good work.

I love to see one annon vs another annon. Can't they just use "names"? They are easier to track.

Mendon

x_JohnDoe_xx_JohnDoe_xabout 12 years ago
Hey there Stangstar.

Thanks for the story and of course thanks go to your editor as well. A TLW story thanks for writing it.

dinkymacdinkymacabout 12 years ago
Thanks again

for a very enjoyable story....keep up the great work!

BelgiumBelgiumabout 12 years ago
Great story

Another great story from SS06. Although every writer has duds, this one certainly isn’t. SS06 is clearly one of the better writers and I always look with anticipation to his stories. Some minor quibbles though:

What I don’t understand is that both sets of parents, having seen how brutal the husband behaves, don’t take steps in rescuing their daughter(-in- law) and grandson.

The gangbang plot was a bit unbelievable. They really thought to get away with that at the school premises? That nobody would blab and betray them?

The end seems a bit rushed. Your timeline vis-à-vis the closing scene should have been longer. Say, a couple of months after the facts. Now It all happens in less than two weeks which doesn’t seem to be very believable. It’s hard to believe that Bonnie and Alex fall in love in such a short time.

The husband, Steve and Francine all got of very light. Too light if you ask me. And that’s a pithy as I have no compassion for a scheming drunk wife beater and a used up whore. Because that’s what they were. In the end they still get rewarded somehow.

You mixed up Bonnie and Francine’s names here and there though. But all in all as usual a great read.

cueball961cueball961about 12 years ago
Another Good One!

This one had its problems. Some of the characters, the husband Ted for instance, were just a little much over the top and were too heavily overstereotyped. There were also some grammatical errors that should have been caught. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this story.

It's always good to see a writer try to stretch out of the comfort zone that they live in, and this was a good effort on that level. You came up with an entertaining plot that made me want to keep driving toward the end. We realize that happy endings are not always the norm, and that the good guys don't always come out on top so many will complain that the plot of this story was unrealistic. I, for one, rather prefer that little fantasyland. Hell, we get enough darkness and unhappy endings in real life.

I always love to see another new story by you when I log into the site, and you are still one of my favorite writers. Keep up the good work and hurry up and send us another new one!

mikothebabymikothebabyabout 12 years ago
my apologies to all readers

I missed the name mix up. That is my job as the editor. I will be more vigilant in future stories. I want to wish all our readers a very Happy and Prosperous New Year. hugs to all, Kate

SLOgentSLOgentabout 12 years ago
Sorry

StangStar06 is one of my favorite authors, but this story isn't up to his usual standards. I do congratulate him for stepping out of his niche, but this story was too predictable and the characters overdone.

I'll continue to read this author, however, because he is a talented writer and spins good tales. This just wasn't one of them.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
no hook

Kind of a slow starter, took a while to get into. Thanks for writing.

Scarecrow51Scarecrow51about 12 years ago
I stopped reading

when both Dads became brain dead. They should have taken her and Bobby out of the house on Chirstmas day. That just killed the story for me at that time.

bruce22bruce22about 12 years ago
Horrifying Tale!

Talk about stupid morons.... I think that Harry has yet to comment because he is tied up knots with his irritation. Someone complained about the two fathers being brain dead. Really even Alex is definitely not someone who inspires me with confidence. (He supports torturing Ted... and trains the son to do that) Basically the word caricature describes all of the characters!

Excellent work SS!

Reader67Reader67about 12 years ago
Only 3*

Sorry SS06 but this was nowhere near your usual standard,I actually found myself missing huge swathes of the story just to get to the finale! It sort of felt like you only had an hour to fit as many words as you could into the story,glad that you tried something different but just not one for me.

magooomagoooabout 12 years ago
Quality control slip

This one is an edsal

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
great job

Great job Stang,

As one previous comment said, " You went out of your normal genre" It takes guts to do something like that and be willing to take a slew of new criticism for that. Since you don't have a professional editor, don' t mind the criticism on grammar, or wrong placement of name, just use it as a learning experience (note run on sentence)

Happy New Years

Master_Falcon90

theaquarianpentheaquarianpenabout 12 years ago
?

less than your best but I finished it. Stick to the loving wife bit I just don't think your heart was in this idea. Looking forward to your next

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
horror show/story

I really like your work usually but don't take it too bad, but if you don't have a storyline you like or maybe for once non at all. just take a vacation. anybody read that as your first one, he never comes back for another. 3 stars is almost to much

RHinSCRHinSCabout 12 years ago
Very good

and realistic. There isn't anything in this story that could not happen. It may have been dark, but people are evil. Most will never see the side that they do not show. You see what they want you to see. Most everyone has an angle. A sweet little old lady who lives in my community had her house burglarized a couple of days before Christmas. I guess that wasn't enough because he doused her in gas and lit a match. She survived to tell the tale and the man has not been caught. Yes Virginia, some do deserve a bullet. The husband in this story qualifies. Happy New Year.....

jasonnhjasonnhabout 12 years ago
Mostly Depressing story filled with despicable people

Ted is a gorilla, a dumb animal. I'm surprised his dialog isn't just grunts. Yes, I know there are Teds out there but they are disgusting characters. He belongs in a cage. Then he and his fellow apes turn a car over during the reunion? Wow, kids might get away with that stuff but adults end up in big trouble. These goons are just too much to be believed.

Bonnie is a classically abused wife with such low self esteem that she sticks with the loser no matter what. She has people who would help her but she refuses to divorce the idiot. She is pathetic.

Steve, the "smart guy", married a hot gold digging bitch. What a genius. He also turns out to be a gorilla, just slightly smarter than Ted.

Francine & Ted's "plan" is that Ted will have good will on his side after Bonnie is drugged into a gang bang. Only one problem, as Steve learned, no fault states split the money evenly and he will still end up paying child support and possibly alimony. So, the "plan" gains nothing except for Francine sticking it to Bonnie. It actually starts to become funny that Francine is unremembered by anyone and she compares her looks and sexuality to Bonnie and can't figure out that people like Bonnie because she is nice and Francine is not.

Alex is the uber smart, uber rich, secret boss who has a nerd chip on his shoulder. It starts to get interesting that the bartenders are actually working for him. The turn around is funny and all the gorillas get fucked over. However, Alex doesn't fuck over Steve? Why not? Just so he will testify for Bonnie? There are plenty of other witnesses. Why give Steve a break and offer to help with his divorce? The final legal settlement is predicable but I really liked Bonnie punching Francine. She richly deserved it. Of course Bonnie wins her dream guy. She's lucky he was looking out for her because she is too dumb to look after herself.

It's a Cinderella story but the people in it are worse than cartoons.

Saxon_HartSaxon_Hartabout 12 years ago
I love it when a plan comes together.

It's always nice to see worthless assholes get fucked. Only it's too bad Steve got away with only payin for the prius. Great story as always.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Don't take this wrong...

...but, dude. You are in serious burnout and denial. This was painful. At best it was an adolescent boy's daydream. The plot was amateur hour. The characters were vapid.

You've done some good work here. Don't tarnish it. Just walk away for awhile. Come back in a month, two months, whatever it takes and write in a different genre for awhile about a guy fascinated with Camaros or something. I mean this to be constructive. Pre-intervention, if you will.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
liked

i always love ur stories very good

DunaDunaabout 12 years ago
Good story again

1. I read the bully youngs are a problem in the American schools. One of my favorite stories is 800ibgorilla's story "A Beautiful Wish" where the main character's car was damedged (broken windows, the tires cut, car painted, etc) he was druged by his scoolmates in the last High Scool meeting. He was tormented by his fellows during his all High School years.

2. Brutal violant drunken cheater husband would have been left earlier, however SS06 excellent dramaturgy wanted to meet Bonnie and Alex. I wish happiness to them.

3. The yelow envy is a strong iniciative look at Francinie.

4. Nobody wanted to get suicide at the end of the story (plus stars from me).

Saxon_HartSaxon_Hartabout 12 years ago
to the first anonimouse poster

I'm sure being called "the most over rated author on this site" by some jerk off who hasn't written anything since little suzy pissed herself laughing at your love note in third grade, will make SS06 lose alot of sleep. Put your name to your inane shit anon.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Actually, I agree with the first anonymous comment.

This author is incredibly overrated. Funny how many fuckwit softcocks out there feel the need to protect him and fight his battles. He's overrated for a reason. And that reason has been explained over and over and over again, by many different commenter's.

But that's all irrelevant. There were no personal attacks on the author, just his writing. What's the matter you fucking losers, isn't anyone allowed an opinion any more??? Fucking idiots.

And what's with the idiot below demanding a login name?!?!?!? People stay anonymous for a million different reasons. It's actually what the whole fucking internet was based on. And even if the reader creates a fucking fake name and ID. So what??? Will it give you something else to attack? While defending your author again? Not allowing people a free say, are you? Idiot.

JustForPostingJustForPostingabout 12 years ago
Oh, hell

I'll come out of the closet.

I wrote the first comment.

Sucking Hard (saxon hart) excoriated me for not writing stories. I do, fucktard, and they aren't the pussy Incest stories you write, you fucking pervwit.

SS is absolutely overrated, and he CANNOT GODDAMNED PUNCTUATE!!!!!!

Is that so hard for your puny brain to comprehend?

His stories are shit, his writing is shit, he vomits all over this site, and puketards like you LOVE IT!!!!

Your choice. I have no problem with it.

But I know how to use the fucking ENGLISH LANGUAGE, which you obviously do not. Nor does SS, and I enjoy shitting on his ignorance. His editor is suspect, as well.

I will not reveal my true posting ID, and as evidence I offer the comments here. My stories have an overwhelmingly positive response, because I can put together an intelligible sentence (means readable, asswipe).

You want to engage a war of insults? I honestly do not give a flying fuck. I am right (write) and you are rong (wrong). SS is a shitty writer, and those who think otherwise are stupid.

Awaiting flames.

mikothebabymikothebabyabout 12 years ago
jasonh - do some research

You call Bonnie pathetic - do you know anything about abuse victims? Most are brainwashed over a period of time with the abuser starting out very loving and kind and then changing to verbal abuse, You are too fat, too stupid, do not cook good enough. (Just as Ted did in the story) Then it is a slap here and there. And then the real beatings begin. (Do you know how many women are killed each year from this?) Stang tried to capture this real life problem. There are probably at least 5 abused women that you personally know that you would never suspect because they hide it so well. Doctors, lawyers, laborers, no one is immune. Google it and check it out. Pay better attention to your family members and friends. The signs are classic. For you to make that comment makes you the one who is PATHETIC - typical man - I speak from personal experience. Many women can not just walk away due to economic reasons or no one to turn to. Many can not even admit to themself that they are abused, let alone the world. I am proud to champion abused women. And no, Stang new nothing of my past when he first started writing this. I shared my experience with him after he sent me the story to edit. OOPS - sorry I ranted again but he started it by calling her pathetic.

IN11ZIN11Zabout 12 years ago
Hitting the Wife

This story was hard going.

Domestic Abuse occurs all year around but is especially acute at this time of year which makes it especially bad for the kids!

While I loathe cheats regardless of gender, those f***heads who hit their wives should.......burn!

Thanks for the story. 4****

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Just For Posting comments were

harsh and uncalled for. Evidently the only people he can stomach "must" agree with him or be forever dammed. In my travels around the North American continent over fifty years I have noticed and commented that to a lot of people "ignorance is bliss". I hope you continue enjoying your very "blissful" life.

Five (5) stars for SS06 for exposing the true AH.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
pervwit? lmao

u may b able 2 use the american lengo but pervwit really? You post anon or (a I'm a writer so take me seriously but I use a secret name) SSDD. you are a shadow shit slinger. lol pervwit, puketards & facktards Im an author really and everybody loves me. roflmao

I'm not a writer just a reader. Liked the story. Hell maybe even liked pervwit, puketards or facktards stories but I'll never know. LMAO

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
I liked it.....

Good character development, good story construction and layout. I don't think I've read one of StangStars stories that I didn't like. Another good job by a good writer. Ignore the haters. They're just hating.

tazz317tazz317about 12 years ago
SUNRISES SUNSETS

and its on the same scenery with different players. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
genius stang......

not the story its self, your genius lays in your ability to wind up the narrow minded humourless asshats like anon1 (justforposting) harry in va and company.

i tip my hat you, and may you continue your piss taking for years to come.

Stii_AnonymousStii_Anonymousabout 12 years ago
Better than usual

I won't say this was a good story as usual because I mostly find your stories over the wall and unrealistic. However the last few stories you have posted have been very good. I like that you are branching out and trying different approaches. Some of the scenes in this story were a little hard to believe like having a 10 year reunion on New Years Eve and the gang bang at the school but the actions of the characters were believable. Maybe not all in the same story but I have met just about everyone of your characters here at one time or another in my life. I think mikothebaby is good for you. I hope you do continue to branch out.

And to Just For Posting shouldn't that be wrong(rong) or maybe write(right)? Even people who know the English language and punctuation as well as you say you do make mistakes. To err is human.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
just for posting is a compltete faggot

While Saxon writes incest and his tales may not be for everyone, he at least has balls enough to call you out over yer stupid bullshit under his own name. You claim to be a popular author, yet you have no stories on here. Pervwit? You sir are a fag! Likely a brit cuckold lover, at leazt guys like saxonband SS dont hide. Fuck you jfp!

Ron Orton

zed0zed0about 12 years ago

The caricatures in this story were so polarized and one dimensional, it was almost like reading one of those "Graphic Novels" but with no pictures. So obviously I loved it! Although I think it would have been hot for Bonnie to get gang banged. Great Story and look forward to more of the same next year.

FD45FD45about 12 years ago
I am glad you are branching out into other directions

Heck, I've been beating, that, drum, for months.

A man doesn't have, to be rich a saint, or an Alpha for me to, like him. A woman doesn't need to be hot, Mother Theresa nice, and a nymphomaniac for me to like her.

You've written, with a more delicate, palatte in other stories but to be safe, in this one, you went with broad, brush, primary, colors, That, is, up, to, you of course.

I decided to randomly pepper the above comments with commas because you seem to believe it won't affect their readability and I wanted to see if it is true.

Commas Anonymous has a meeting on Wedneday...just saying. Listen to the Baby.

But whether you punctuate properly or not, I would like you to keep writing. It isn't unnoticable, but if you write well enough, I don't really care.

Escobar1974Escobar1974about 12 years ago
Another Great One But..

Great story as usual and different storyline to your others, I just felt that the relationship between Bonnie and Alex took place too fast. She went from being a loving faithful wife to hooking up with Alex in 30 mins? A greater interaction could have been shown between them in high school or even in their current life since you showed that Ted worked for Alex, it could of been a little bit of serendipity...but great story...I have been trying my hand at writing and will be posting in the new year...hope you read mine and comment

DarlaJeanneDarlaJeanneabout 12 years ago
LOVE IT

Great story! i am sick of all the one sided wife cheating stories want more like this!!! Keep up the good work;)

LazylonerLazylonerabout 12 years ago
Fun, but lost a bit at times

It's very nice to see Stang try to break out of the pattern he seemed stuck in with clueless cheating wives and impossibly beautiful second chance girls.

So in that sense this is a great step up for the stories.

However... as others have pointed out the fact that the characters are so overblown as to become very one-dimensional made this story extremely disappointing.

It's fun to see a good story, but this one doesn't really have any characters to cheer for. Tom is by any standard barely more intelligent than your average rock, and is abusive and disrespectful to every other character. The fact that he's supposedly a former high school linebacker is actually believable though. The other characters are equally flat and unappealing.

So the story doesn't really fly as well as it could.

And one mroe thing, that really bugs me for some reason. There is no such thing as a partial football scholarship. Athletic scholarships are required by NCAA rules to cover everything, and cannot be split between multiple players. For football at the top level (which is hte only level where they'll tell players they have a shot at the NFL) teams can have 85 scholarships issued for each semester or quarter. Tom would have had a full ride until he flunked out. (teams cannot pull a scholarship for lack of effort, only injury, grades or the player asking to be dropped can end a scholarship.)

I know its not important to the story overall, but I jsut get driven nuts when I see sports references that are incorrect. I guess I'm just a bit of a pedant about it.

DunaDunaabout 12 years ago
Special thank for This StanStar06!

I wrote here several time why the Authors do not use a divorced exwife with children for the next connection of the good guy in their stories???? I am glad for this dramaturgy which was selected by the Author (and his assistent). Yes Rehnquist has a story where the exhusband next mate is a divorced woman with child "The Damp, Gray Gone". However the writers give wide berth to this scenarios. What is the problem with a earlier abused and other type divorced women, but not cheaters?

PolyLvrPolyLvrabout 12 years ago
Meh

Just, meh.

Too many screw ups with the names, grammar, spelling. Could've been interesting but it was so overdone.

demantoiddemantoidabout 12 years ago
Putitang!

Come back from the grave...Mr. Robert Parker? Huh? Leonard? Janet? Great good fun reading this tale of best Laid! Plans gone "a wry". Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
mmmmm

Read and enjoy a lot of your work but could not get in to this one at all ,thought it may have been me at fault but after reading other comments I see it was not only me to drawn out ,to many repeats ,to many spelling ,grammar and name mistakes to let the story flow .

Sorry but only 1 * from me for this one

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Dear mmmmm

After reading your comment and other comments I see it was not only me to drawn out ,to many repeats ,to many spelling ,grammar and name mistakes to let the story flow .

Sorry but only 1 * from me for this comment

Remove the log from your own eye before you complain about the splinter in your neighbors

northlandernorthlanderabout 12 years ago
Totally Believable

In 35 years as a cop, I've met so many Teds, Francines and Bonnies that I hated domestic disputes. They exist in real life, wife abuse is rampant, and I can personally guarantee that you know at least one abuser, probably more. The number of so called friends who are just waiting to sink their knives into their buddies backs are legion, and the tragedy is that there are so many Bonnies who believe that if only they could do things better their husbands wouldn't hit them as much, or drink as much, rather than calling the police and putting the bastards in jail where they belong, that is if they are lucky enough to find Police that take them seriously. Sure the gangbang may have been over the top a bit, and Alex was too good to be true but SS6 did a damn good job in exposing an extremely serious problem that doesn't go away'

ParPlus10ParPlus10about 12 years ago
@JustForPosting

There is no way you have any stories posted with the ratings you claim. After reading your comments on this story and thinking back on other comments you have made, it is apparent that you don't have the critical thinking or writing skills necessary to do so. To directly attack an author for their work the way you do must stem from jealousy. Since StangStar does the very thing for which you pretend.

As far as editing is concerned, sure mikothebaby misses something now and then. Of course it would be easy to not make mistakes if you only edit one story a year and not multiple stories per week. For me, punctuation in an amateur story is not the first concern. Perfect punctuation is worthless if the content doesn’t hold your attention.

There are several things about this story that I liked. One is the way StangStar continues to try new things. To make the primary character an abused spouse in a L.W. story is pretty unusual. But it was pulled if off pretty well. Some might wonder why the parents and in-laws didn’t get her out of the situation with her husband. But anyone who has ever been involved with abused women knows it is not that simple. You do what you can until they decide they want the help to get out. Otherwise they just keep going back.

There were also some things that I didn't like so well. One was that I really did not like rewarding Steve. He was one of the main players in the setting up Bonnie and not only did he not suffer but Alex is going to help him with his divorce. For Alex to be the White Knight, that part tarnished his armor quite a bit.

mikothebabymikothebabyabout 12 years ago
about the editing

Thank you for your eloquent words sticking up for me. I am admittedly an amateur editor. I also edit for over 20 authors here on Lit. I will be paring it down this year as it is very time consuming and sometimes I think I miss stuff due to the high volume. I try my best but readers need to know a few things, I only make suggestions, the authors post what they want even after my edits. If they reject what I advise, that is not my fault. So please all readers, quit blaming the editor. thanks, Kate

Saxon_HartSaxon_Hartabout 12 years ago
Ignore the haters mikothebaby

You do a fine job and don't let anyone tell you different.!

jedbeakerjedbeakerabout 12 years ago
Another Excellent Story

Happy New Years - and Thanks to SS06 and Miko--- I appreciate ALL your efforts and enjoy your stories a great deal. This one WAS different. It was easy to hate Ted and Francine for the flaws both characters displayed. It was nice to hear Why-from both of them. A classic storyline -damsel rescued by knight IN his white steed. Ha-I liked that alot. Thanks again, I can't wait for the next one!

TavadelphinTavadelphinabout 12 years ago
Providence shines again heh

I DO like the how better partner is always just a minute away when this happens to your protagonists -

I also wish real life were that wonderful and generous -

Much fun and good revenge by living well -

BTTapBTTapabout 12 years ago
Glad for the happy ending

But, I had a hard time working through the story with the husband beating the wife. I just can't stomach it. Cliched, but that is ok. The husband had no redeeming qualities-like some of your "bad spouses," and the wife was a sad character. Your best stories have a "bad spouse" (usually wife) who at least seems to love the other spouse, even if he/she is fucked up and doing fucked up stuff. Still, it was a good tact to take with a cheating husband for a change-and a wife trying to cope with it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
It is a good thing to change things up...

I agree with Northlander and it is as he says. I too have over 45 years law enforcement experience and know that almost all people can be haters and uncaring towards others. They can be caring and kind at times as well, but only when they want to be and can afford to be. The last 30-40 years have seen a change in men not being as abusive towards towards their women, but that is only because of new domestic violence laws and a change in public opinion, one that says men don't rule the household and can beat their wife and kids if they want to with impunity. It's a fact that both men and women cheat on their loving spouses, and do so for many different reasons, but the family is not as respected by all as it once was. A lot of young people are too self-centered to do the give and take a marriage needs.

A lot of struggling youngsters cannot get a good enough job to support a family and are afraid to try. Some of us put more emphasis on love and marriage vows than others. There are a lot of Teds, Steves, and other losers that do not respect women. Some people of either sex have reasons for their actions, and most do not, they only have excuses or rationalizations for their behavior.

StangStar writes about people and their bad behaviors and we all rush to read them with interest. He writes them quickly and they are not polished as some writers make them, but they are still interesting enough. They are usually about decent men being fucked over by screwed up women, something we are used to on this site. That he wrote one about a screwed up man is refreshing and wouldn't it be nice if we wrote more stories about both in LIT? There would probably be more comments from the ladies saying, "Kick the cheating bastards to the Kurb!" Just my two cents.

RonaldWood

TalonsreachTalonsreachabout 12 years ago
Great job Stang

As usual, you did a good job of fleshing out the characters. Nice change of pace from your usual work. I would agree that the gangbang was a little over the top but willingly grant you the right to literary license. I would have loved to see what happened those first few days after Alex and Bonnie drove off into the moonlight. Overall, though, a very enjoyable read.

Miko, I am saddened to see that you are going to cut down the number of authors you will be editing for. I see your handprints throughout Stang's body of work, always helping him grow into a better and better story teller. The authors you won't be supporting should truly miss your dedication and effort. You have my humble thanks. Maybe one day I will finish up a couple of stories I have started. I can only hope that either you or someone very much like you will be the gem cutter that will help me turn a bauble into a gem.

roscovichroscovichabout 12 years ago
Superbly written, as usual for this author.

Except couple times of names mix up and a little inane, but then it was written for type of readers. (preteens?)

Otherwise well done.

BfreetorunBfreetorunover 11 years ago
Great story, I enjoyed it.

I will gig you for this, you called Francine "Bonnie" on this very page or the previous page.. Both you and your proofer are messing up out of carelessness. Two or three stories above this one on your page also contained a similar error, I did not bother to mention it then. You are a great writer and I really enjoy most of your stories but both you and your proof reader need to tighten up. Thank you for writing.

AeroielAeroielover 11 years ago
3 Stars

Woulda been 5, but 2 star demerit for the two serious name switches. Stopped the flow of the story stone cold.

I hate that.

Ya, I know, I'm being a prick, but we all have our dislikes.

Otherwise a good story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Characters

You need an editor who can match the characters with the proper dialogue.

Example: >"What..what about me?" asked Bonnie.<

Should be Francine.

Couple of others in this story as well. And in other stories.

1Thinkingman1Thinkingmanabout 11 years ago
I hate to admit it

But I am programed to hate cheating men more than I hate cheating women. I thought Ted got off to easy in this one. I still liked the story just wish there had been some real revenge for a coward who would hit a woman who was not trying to harm him. Personally I would not have stopped with braking his ankles. *****

phil2213phil2213over 10 years ago
Excellent story this story needs to be read at least twice.

Enjoyable entertainment. A couple of phewpaws that editing should've addressed in name assignment of Francine vs Bonnie. Other than that Wow!!! Fantastic! !! Loved it!!! MUTTANG was a nice touch. I miss my Shelby Cobra.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Why?

Why does a four-year-old talk like a two-year-old?

tazz317tazz317over 10 years ago
WHY DIDNT ALL OF THEM SEE

and pay attention to the title. TK U MLJ LV NV p/s Oh I think they did, mlj

krosis666krosis666over 10 years ago
Great change of pace..

From the usual cheating wife stories. I fell in love with Bonnie right from the start. You wrote the abused wife making excuses and apologising for her abusive husband perfectly. Ted should have been tied to a table and castrated with a rusty spoon, before being ass-raped by a porcupine for hitting Bonnie. And the same fate should befall any so-called man who raise his hand to his wife or child.

BfreetorunBfreetorunabout 10 years ago
Thank you, StangStar06. This makes up for the last ones that I didn't care for.

I did like one or two of the last six or seven but I was getting discouraged. Thank you again. Thank you, too, Mikothebaby.

fanfarefanfareabout 10 years ago
why?

anon (10/03/13) asked a very important question: "Why does a four-year-old talk like a two-year-old?"

My wife and I had some experience working as voluntary advisers to for a NGO that recommends available services to dysfunctional families. Assisting abused women and children with finding shelter and medical care and necessities such as food and clothing.

Often the younger children, for a number of reasons, who have been burdened by parental neglect and abuse , tend to be a couple of years behind their peers in maturing and education. Once in a safe environment and provided therapy and tutoring, usually they can catch up to their age group.

These experiences and similar in my life are the reason for my unwavering hostility towards the misogynist trolls who infest this site. I just think it's a shame that the technology does not exist to filter out the perpetual adolescents, spewing hate from their prison cells and half-way houses.

Where they were sentenced for the violence and abuse they committed against their victims, the women and children who had the misfortune to be related to these assholes.

phil2213phil2213about 10 years ago
Special thanks for the thankless job of editing to Mikothebaby!

This story had social impact, entertainment, humour and just plain human interaction of the good and bad kinds. The wife abuse was eloquently illustrated in the form that makes it easy to see its absolute horror on the defenseless woman and how she burdens herself with guilt and morose. This story was deep but moved at a nice comfortable pace. Thank you for sharing your awesome talents StangStar06 & Mikothebaby!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
This was edited?

No offense, but your editor didn't catch multiple name mix-ups between Bonnie and Francine. Also, if guys were trying to meet Francine, why did Francine introduce them to Bonnie? I gave it 3 Stars, needs some more cleanup to reach 4.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
short version

this story should have ended a fe paragraphs in with Ted dying in a single car accident the first time he stormed out of the house. That way we would have been sparred the details and Bonnie the pain she didn't deserve.

I don't understand the description of Jessica as a lingerie model and only a few paragraphs later as short and thick.

That being said, it turned out to be a good read (not among the best) and the "knight in shinning armor" was a cliche at best.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333almost 9 years ago
Meh

not one of my favorites of yours. Thanks for the offering.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333almost 9 years ago

It seemed to start stronger than it finished.

kjohns2001kjohns2001over 8 years ago
Loved this story!

The good people win, the bad people get royally fucked. What's not to love?

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Good Humor Man

Perhaps your stories fit a narrow pattern but no LW writer consistently gives us the humorous side you see in almost every desperate situation.

You don’t sell ice cream on the side? Just checking!

cpl8140cpl8140about 4 years ago
Missed This One

I thought I had read all of SS06's stories. This story was like an old Marx Brothers or Three Stooges farce. 5*

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

Reads like a bad episode of a 60's sit com. Still entertaining, just a little too simple to be a classic. An alcoholic wife beater trying to get out of child support? Does he twirl his mustache and tie her to the railroad tracks, too?

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

Anonymous before me. If you think the type of situation detailed in the beginning of the story is not happening right now at this very moment, you are an idiot. Its probably happening in your own state and even in your own city. Maybe not this very moment but it most certainly does occur. You are an asshole.

Unless you have been through it, you have no idea how paralyzing domestic violence is to the victim.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
5 stars

Muttang

NitpicNitpicabout 3 years ago
When

When did Bonnie organise a gangbang on herself and screw a married bloke.?Also having left the room with her son,how could she be there to hit Francine in the mouth?.

brian_scoobybrian_scoobyover 2 years ago

Started out with had for Ted. But had a good laugh with the ending. Good job... thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Good story but got confusing wen u mixed Bonnie an Francine up multiple times but a little editing an this would be a 5

iammweaseliammweaselover 1 year ago

Might have been good but even when writing a piss poor husband we still got the misogynistic idiotic take on women. And considering you had to get it in there you are exactly what IU just said. And when the wet diapered misogynistic fly to your defense, they dont realize that what they are is easy to see but they are too stupid to see it. Much the way you write women.

Started good but Im hardly shocked you drove this right over the fucking cliff.

Pjam1968Pjam1968about 1 year ago

4 stars for the for the effort

Texican1830Texican183011 months ago

Enjoyed that one. Different from your formula, a bit, and a fun ending.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Microsoft Access Is not for email. Completely pulled me out of the story.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

5 Stars on this one . The 2 richest guys in My High School were friends of mine . Both are Great guys and Multi Millionaires to boot . True one inherited his money but he works for an insurance company making over 200 thou a year . The second Guy Worked his ass off and got lucky in the stock market . I do not think he got Lucky as he studied 1 company for about 6 months then put 100 thou into it . That 100 thou turned into many Millions for him .

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Kind of ironic on here we have commenters who somehow think domestic abuse and wife beating is a rare or nonsensical occurrence. Not sure what planet they live on. Domestic abuse is an all too common problem in marriages, heavily skewed with the men as the abusers, though violent abuse committed by women (usually involving a household item swung or thrown) is more common than people give it credence. That being said it is the height of naivete to think that domestic abuse is somehow less common than say 40 or 50 year old happily married women having multimonth affairs with young studs (often with large penises). Or less common than say husbands who are willing cuckolds eithet our of strange desires or out of indifference or lack of will to confront. Heaven forbid rhat reality might intrude in thse storie. We all come to this site and genre for different reasons. It is fiction. So many tropes are rampant that lack credulity whereas things like domestic abuse, mental health problems, miscarriages, post partum depression, impotence, STDs, abortions, PTSD, drug addiction, alcoholism, etc are all too real in the real world.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

I’ve only read the first little bit, but what the hell? If my son in law ever hit my daughter they’d have to pull me off him.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Way over the top, but entertaining. The constant use of the wrong persons name though, very distracting

NovemberComingFireNovemberComingFire2 months ago

This story lost me the moment that teds father didn’t beat his son to death for laying hands on his wife. I know it’s fiction but for fucks sake have some sense of reality in it

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Enjoyable story. Bit farfetched on places but overall was enjoyable. BardnotBard

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