All Comments on 'Vey Wet Cunts - A Friend's Birthday'

brazier?

Apart from that howler, pretty good.

"wandering what to do...", "curios" for curious, "blaze" for blasé, "Carrie' " for Carrie's, "brakes off the kiss..." (You know better.)

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You write well and there's no excuse for your making these trivial-but-dampening mistakes. I'd really like to have seen more sex and more descriptions of the sex you do include. More talking about what they're doing while they're doing it. Finally—either continue this story or write about his next adventure. (I'd keep with him and Carrie, and lose the Irish girl.)

Best of Luck.

Susan in San Mateo