All Comments on 'Just a Bit of Red'

if one is into research or care. I think you were really generous with your 99.9% its probably more like 99.999999 or higher. With this knowledge I understand more about your poetry and stories. A good researcher could with your assistance put dates on feelings, time and themes. Then you could do an in-depth review and if you need a dissertation for further eductation you have an ideal personal preview. RESPECTFULLY TK U MLJ LV NV

You're bright, articulate and write from the heart. My best to you.

Andy

Thank you Red for that glimpse. That is powerful stuff ( and it is well written btw).

This was a very interesting view into someones life for me. I think well written and to the point. I do wish you well in your quest. I am also on a similar quest but now too close to 60 to make much difference in what I will discover. For way too many years my needs were not what I looked at, I had a wife, and child to consider before myself and that is what I tried to take care of most. Now I am told that she no longer has an interest in my needs or wants and I am too old to do anything about it. Life is a beach, and then you die.

Red, whether fiction or non-fiction, or a mix, this could well be a book, if you choose. I urge you to consider enlarging it to book-length, and offering it commercially. It so engrossed me I didn't even quibble. I gave it a plug on my 'Embarras de Richesse' thread on the SF BB. Really good.

Hey Red, I'm on the other side of the coin (the one with the bulbous head as opposed to the very fine tail :) ) and keenly feel every bit of anguish, heartbreak and frustration described in your little expose.

Thank you for the little bit of voyeurism into your personal life.

I feel for you, and wish you well.

sad tale that you weave. If true, then I'm sorry for you. To stay or not is a personal choice. Personally, I think you should have made it many years earlier if your spouse wasn't someone who was willing to put you first. The only thing for sure about life is death.

Good luck.

I stumbled on this site about a year ago and it has helped me to rediscover my sexuality. I'm a mom of a child with special needs, and the stress (and hormonal issues from menopause) had done a number on my sex life--my husband and I hadn't made love in 3 years. But reading some of the stories here helped "prime the pump" so to speak. My husband and I have reconnected in the bedroom. Is it perfect? Hell no, but it still puts a smile on our faces.

What I mean to say is it's never too late to go after what you want. It's wonderful that you no longer feel guilty for paying attention to your own needs--you deserve to be happy!

You have my respect. Thanks for the story.

~adgeon

Thank you for sharing, You! I am sure that your feelings are shared by many (myself included). I believe you are on the right track in creating a healthy environment for yourself.... Keep up the great writing.

Red, I had forgotten about Babette *wink*

A very moving story, thanks for sharing it. One comment I have is to move your relationship forward with your husband you may need to push him into getting into counseling. It sounds like he loves you and if someone loves you they should be able to do what it takes, but it isn't always that easy. Men especially are tied down with a lot of cultural and religious baggage about being a man, roles, etc. Speaking of someone who was in your hubbies position, I can also tell you that the reluctance is often about fear, as much as I loved/love my spouse, it took a not so gentle push from her to allow us to get help (we had a lot of issues, known and unknown, that needed to be dealt with, as a couple and people). The fear is of being judged in there,or getting someone telling you things you can't deal with, any number of things, it is wondering if instead of bringing you closer together it breaks you apart....and it took me realizing that as much as my spouse loved me, this needed to be done to not only save the marriage, but make it even better. It did mean facing a lot of hard truths about each other, and also ended up with me having to do things to preserve our family that were painful as hell, but it was worth it....all I could tell your hubby if I talked to him would be that good therapists, as opposed to religious counselors and the like, are not the enemy , they aren't there to judge you and they can help:).

Thank you for sharing, I know how hard that is.......and if it helps, tell hubby I was in the position more then once of having to make tough choices to save my marriage, and both of them turned out to be not only the right thing to do, but freed myself, too:)

Thank you, Red, for sharing.

:'-(

Thank you for sharing. Hugs, I hope and pray that your situation will improve!

Thank you for YOU!

M1

You shared what you felt and experienced so well, I have to say the typical, "Thanks for sharing". Even though it is so much more. I don't visit the boards adnx the stories I want to tell are still in my head, which has not proven to be the best place to keep them. I love your stories in all genres and wonder where you get all the ideas at times You are a treasure here and I hope many share that opinion. Thank you

raw731@hotmail.com

I hope that writing this improved your self-image and your understanding of your husbands shortcomings. So often, expressing ourselves in an open, public manner helps to clarify our thoughts. When I read this several months ago I could not decide how to respond. The pain you express in you essay touched a nerve if my own soul. I often struggle with self doubt about my relationship and what the future holds. Thanks for sharing your story.

Your story was beautifuflly written, and touched my heart - even though I am of the opposite sex. I have barely scratched the surface, reading your stories, but I now consider myself a growingly devoted fan.

Besides that, they're really hot!

1/10/12....And hardly any (on here) since? Hmmm...

Will there be an addendum to this piece?

It is nearly six years later...:+))

Let me guess...You have not been celibate? :+)))

(Quickly) Not that I encourage it!!!

About myself...I seek out female authors here.

To experience (albeit vicariously) the Female POV.

For my unending quest to understand it/them.

Not sure that's achievable. But I CAN observe the symptoms,

and try to not screw up while interacting with them? :+))

PLUS...of course...Here we all are...among consenting adults!

Hey, ya never know, right? :+)))

It was already a Major Adjustment to learn my fingers and tongue

are more popular than Perky? Now I'm being replaced by a Rabbit? :+))

About your evolved, and evolving, situation...We males have

learning curves too. Structures and values enforced on us by others

from birth on. Until we decide to and do behave in other ways...

My own fallback position is our Deity-designed bodies...They seem to me

to have already defined functions.

Deity-approved? :+))

For me, sex is our ultimate sharing of selves. Deeply personal intimacy.

Sex With Love being its highest form. With the person I care most about

in the world.

It's simply beyond the scope of appliances. Which can surpass mere human

possibilities of performance; however, they don't reciprocate feelings.

Does that mean I preclude sharing in other loving ways? No.

It does mean I live, and learn, and grow. Not by clicking a switch.

In my experience, people hardly ever learn and/or love at the identical rate.

I see "phases" in your writings here. Don't you?

P.S. LOVE the honesty of your writings. Especially adore the fun in your banter!

So...Do we get a follow-up report on your whereabouts and life since 1/10/2012?

I am curious as to whether you encouraged your children to have sex before marriage? I told my daughters that I hoped they would safely and judiciously learn about sex during college. Sexual compatibility is a major element of any marriage. Thank you for sharing. Are you posting under a different name now by chance?

Thanks a lot for sharing these aspects of your life. I find myself in many of your insights. Our own marriage is at a critical point; both of us are unhappy and we are lonely, despite being within a relationship. But as you wrote: We do indeed not know where life might lead us. Anyway, keep going I love to read your stories and to find more from you. Considering the date of this post, your situation mat have evolved or changed. And ‘am wishing you that you could and can make good choices for yourself. Take care, HCH