very nice, subtle, essence without the rule
I almost asked for reader’s or the poet’s help; I got desperate. Let me explain.
Concise and complex you can’t expect anything else from the tightest form of poetry. It slows you down. Fine, I was appropriately slowed down, then almost ground to a stand still. That was mostly due to the challenge of the third line:”Mournful and vacant”. How could her eyes (or even the kisses or the fingers) be BOTH mournful and vacant? Isn’t it a contradiction? I moved away for a short period of simmering. It helped, but not so much through analyzing, but through visualizing - Ha! I said (internally), it’s the appearance vs. the internal feeling. Closing the eyes comes as a desperate measure to postpone recognizing the eminence of lost intimacy.
Yes, the tightness of haiku (or Haiku like forms) imitates life in that it condenses to a second of reading bundles of feelings or fleeting observations, almost like in real time. We can then untangle them on our own time…
BTW, I hope you had the option since to write many Haiku's of newly found love (the closest I could come to happiness).
This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 40,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.
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