All Comments on 'Back at the Bakersfield Motel Ch. 02'

both chapters deffinetly need a rewrite and a good editor don't let your EGO prevent you from posting good stories always use a good editor first. you also should have started AT THE BEGINING not seven and a half years later and you should have said what happened eith the brother and sister i.e. did they keep fucking or was it a one time thing. quite a few holes that need filling please do it soon

is that if a story isn't structured the way YOU would write it, it's not a good story? Where are your stories, by the way, so we can compare?

You are the reason I won't write for Literotica.

and I like Donny and Zoe. Let's see Chapter 3 soon!!!

I enjoyed reading this story I thought it was well done ... Unlike that first dick lick who had nothing but critisism

i love the story, the emotion between the two, and the unexpected visit from jenny. Unfortunantly i have to agree with the first anonymous tard, that there should be a prequal to when it first started, but i dont agree that you need an editor, it was a good story and i enjoyed it,so please keep it going!

Although I happen to like the way the flashback worked out, I had a specific reason for writing it that way: Literotica is very strict about characters under the age of 18 being involved in sexual situations, and I suspected that opening with two 11-year-olds in a voyeurism scenario -- especially with the suggestion that Zoey became sexually aroused -- would get the story rejected. Presenting this all in the context of two 18-year-olds' memories, on the other hand, might (and did) make it all acceptable.

Nice conversational dialog between the cousins, natural and with the right amount of humor. You've created very likable characters. You have a knack. I liked the way you started the story, it made perfect sense to me. To Negative Anonymous: Please stop, your sucking the air out of this site. Also, you might want to take your own advice about an editor.

For a minute there I was hopping Jenny would join in. Great job can't wait to read chapter 3

Get it up her with out rubbers

WHERE THE FUCK IS CHAPTER ONE? you post chapter two and three-four but no one what kind of idiot wannabe writer are you? delete all stories and stop writing you can't write and obviously can't count.

They decided a year after the fact that it violated some guidelines.

My explaining this to you was far more than I owe to a rude, name-calling asshole.

Doubt that a 'Jenny' would suddenly appear like that.

Glad that the cousins finally got it on.