by suzie3w
Get real as "AHHHHHHHHH" etc. isn poor writting style and form. The use of emotional "AH" acceptable and common, the addition of a modifier for indicating a drawn out "AH" of for example "moaned", "moaning", etc is far better and proper.
To Annon, Wtf are you talking about. I read the story and everything seems just fine.
even that AHHHH parts. I knew what she was saying, what the person was feeling.. Damn shit like that irritates me.
Good story with realistic feelings and actions. A large clit can be used to woman's advantage
Good start keep on writing.
I don't know if it was your intention but I found a bit of humor in the girls thoughts and amazements of her own body.
Now that she has had an orgasm she will want more.
Keep it up, I want more from Ryann and Jack! Perhaps develop their relationship a little more.
It WAS real in the sense that she - unlike the vast majority on this list - wasn't a multiorgasmic virgin - orgasm, yes - through intercourse, no
And the author has the opportunity to show us more of Ryann's adventures (sparing us what sometimes seems to be a mandatory FF scene) before her ultimate (I hope) defloration
Let's see, somehow being a ballerina stops girls from talking and boys from pursuing. I don't think so. My sister was a ballerina and it was grueling, but she did have a boyfriend.
Also, you neglect to mention that she must have had some type of guardian, such as a MOTHER! I do suppose that she did watch some TV, read Dear Abby or the internet. I do suppose that she went to school and attended sex education classes.
With such a stupid beginning this wasn't worth finishing.
They are so damned incompetent that they do not risk their own tender sensibilities but try to lay down rules for the rest of us.
My small amount of sexual experience definitely showed that all women are different.
Vive le difference'