All Comments on 'Crossing the Line'

... but too rushed. And no details, which means it's way too short.

Stopped reading fast due to the use of "mum" for a female parent. Look at a dictionary and it shows this for the word: to remain silent/quiet or a dead body for science study. But not a reference as a female parent. The world in general uses these two meanings, so join the world.

You've been reading one of those crappy US dictionaries that don't document Standard English again, haven't you?

I got the impression that the story was written in English, in England I mean, Mum as well as mom are both used to describe some one who is a mother. I enjoyed the story which could stand alone or lead onto other adventures. Thanks for posting it, pete

This is a variation on a theme, but there was so much that the author provided for himself/herself to work with that I was shocked at how rushed the story truly was. It read like a writing sample for a novela proposal. If that were the case, then the writing was a success. Otherwise, this is one of the story ideas that actually "deserves" to be fleshed-out. (Just don't get lost in the details. No, considering the jump-start, no one would expect all of the foreplay and certainly no thought of anal on their first night. That actually would "detract" from an "odd" but actually "plausible" relationship between a mother and son.)

Keep writing! It's a 4.5. It's not "hot" by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't think that was your intention anyhow.

Not a whole lot of story so far, and I think that there could be a lot more to be told.

Now that they have crossed the taboo line and incest has been committed, where will the story go from here?

Fucking junk just like the usual spam stories we get all week long. We get a few paragraphs of shit and they never bother to post again... while using up bandwidth on this site so that the mindless zombies can go "rah, rah, rah" as they read this shit.

Wow! So much feedback already! Many thanks for the encouraging and "constructive" comments.

Perhaps I should offer some background: this was a two-part exercise, after reading Literotica stories for some time I wondered if 1, I could write a story and 2, if it could be accepted onto the site.

It IS written in English so I'm not quite sure what relevance the reference to the American Dictionary has. With due respect to our "cousins across the Pond" I'm not sure what the mighty tome would even look like but that's not important here.

I chose to keep the detail light for a first project trusting in the concept in this case of "less is more"

The story was originally started as a standalone project but soon became obvious subsequent additions are required. The sequel is already bubbling around in which there will be more detail of the storyteller and the circumstances leading to this moment. However, I'll not be subjecting the reader to a full life history as I believe much of it would be unnecessary.

I will be introducing Bridie as an ordinary English widow, neither buxom nor a beauty, and her son as an ordinary working guy. Neither had planned nor expected the events of that first night and, like each of us, neither know what's going to happen in the future.

Enough for now, thanks once more for your kindly and encouraging comments,

Matt

I thought it was sweet and warm. I do not understand negative comments - there is no need for them and do nothing to encourage this author or anyone thinking of posting their stories. Michaella. X

Steven is a good son, he loves his mother very much. So much that he's hard around her, which his mom of course notices. They kiss over and over again, and Steven's mother gets very wet. The next logical step is for the boy's stiff prick to get together with his mother's mommy-hole and tear it to shreds. Steven fucks his mother like a good son should. He blows his young balls up his mommy's cunt, and boy and mom'll do it over and over again.

I agree with digdaddy here. There simply isn't a lot of story here, it sort of feels like an overlong introduction. As for "Mum",some of you apparently aren't familiar with Briticisms.

Just found this story and enjoyed it but not half as much as the critique from some of our more illiterate cousins across the pond. As they say two great nations divided by a common language