Had the potential to be a great story, but too short and too rushed—especially the last half.
I love how your story leaves so much open to the imagination. It is like the old Hollywood movies, which makes for a lovely fantasy. Thank you for a beautiful begining!
I knew you were no writer before the end of the opening paragraph and it did not improve.
Please tell me exactly what an "uncomfortably place" might be? Or is it a where?
When one tries to form actual words, doesn't "Who" qualify as one? What exactly is an actual word?
I can't vote 0, but I would if I could.
Sure there were a couple of mistakes but this story made me smile. It was beautifully sweet. Keep on writing!
Sure, there were a few mechanical errors but nothing compared to some stories I've seen on Lit. I'm surprised you haven't submitted any recent stories. Anyway, I enjoyed the story. I appreciate shorter stories that are easy to read. Shame there wasn't a sequel. :(
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