All Comments on 'My Sister Is a Freak'

Great story

Get an editor. There were a lot of simple errors that should have been caught.

Probably the best I've read in months. I hope there is more to follow with these two.

If u can please continue the story,it was really good

The story is good, but you really do need to get an editor. There are spelling and grammar mistakes that could easily be remedied with an editor.

this needs something, but i cant think of what it might be. oh yeah parts 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.....

Loved it I hope to see more please this is one of the best I have seen in a long time hope you turn this in to a 5 part + story :)

The premisce is good, but like others have mentioned, you desperately need an editor. Keep writing, and make sure you proof your work before you submit it. No one ever said you can't edit your own work.

TY, JB

very hot story hope you do more like it!!!

Great job, screw the editing, still smoking hot story!

Absolutely loved this story. Lots of humor, sex and more sex. I agree with the other comment, screw the spelling and grammar. You have a real talent. I just don't know if my heart can withstand five chapters.

Absolutely delicious. Wow.

Wow the best story I've read in a very long time, the descriptions are so intense its hard to think it didn't happen. It definitely feels like a real brother sister relationship!

But that was just so hot.

The way you wrote this was pretty good.

I am clinically diagnosed OCD, But the mistakes that I did see in no way detracted from the excellent story you told.

My congratulations, and I hope for more.

ES

your story was so great that no amount of errors would ruin it

this is one of the best stories i have read in a while i wish the voting system went beyond 5 stars and i really hope that there are more chapters to this story

More chapters please, can't wait to see how freaky Janie can get!

You perfectly encompassed the excitement of fucking on vitamin E. Added to that fact that it was between a bro & sis was fucking awesome. You're quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. Encore please!

I’d really like to see him dominate his sister. Have her wear a dog collar and chain when they have rough anal suck, which he films of course. She gets his name tattooed on her lower back so everyone knows who she belongs to. Taking her out to the mall where he parades her around with next to nothing on and then making out at the movies.

Stop trying to tell this author what to do. If you're such a good writer go write the fucking story yourself!

the first half of the story was very funny and the second was sexy and beautiful

"As my buddy Scott always says, "You can do remarkable things with a Rocket Launcher."

Take a pill, buddy. No one is telling anyone how to do anything. Just some people bouncing ideas off each other on the internet.

But thanks for taking it upon yourself to be the message board hall monitor. I guess.

I must confess that it didn't rise to the level of Dickens, but that wasn't what I expected anyway. I do know this much, it was hot. The sex scene was very erotic and underlying it all was a tenderness between brother and sister as well.

The grammatical errors were a huge distraction however, and that is the fly in the ointment. I realize that you said you were having trouble getting an editor, but a bit of proofreading before submission would handle a lot of the offending mistakes.

The above being said, I enjoyed the story and it gave me a chubby. In the end isn't that what we're here for after all?

Despite any mistakes, the characters were solid and the sex was Hot! Hot! Hot!. I really hope there's a chapter 2 coming soon!

Thanks for sharing this. I gave it 5 stars, and am eager to read the rest of your stories, not to mention any follow-up to this one.

That said, if you really want to do excellent work, you'll find someone to review it for grammar corrections.

Sorry but the grammar police have arrived. You had a nice setting, good background, and the most important believable characters. However while you mentioned you don't have an editor you need to get one bad. The grammar I could ignore easily but the spelling needs work. Roughly about 10 percent of your words were outright misspelled or used the wrong way. You would say "the look would have scare me" when you meant "scared". While it may not seem like a big deal, it took away from the immersion that you had done so well to lay out. It was good but that little extra polishing could make it great. In conclusion I say it's an above average story with below average technique.

great story. Hope there's a few more chapters. The characters were appealing, the situations believable, and the sex hot. What's not too like.

I wish at some point in the story or even at the very end you would mention that big sis isn't on the pill. ;) That would have been so much hotter!

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS STORY! !!!!!!!! GOOD JOB

This was really excellent. Hopefully there will be more!

Wow hot I came three time just reading it, when will there be more??

It was a good story

The background info was good

Dont listen to the guy complaining about the teasing thats helped make it a better story

Needs a sequel

First, the praise. I really enjoyed this. It was a little different from the typical incest stories here on Literotica, and very erotic. I liked how it developed, with enough detail and history without going overboard and being too wordy.

Now the criticism. I'm going to assume english is NOT your first language, because the grammatical errors were truly just atrocious. ~.~ I've resigned myself to the fact that 95% of the world's population has terrible grammar, and I can read through the frequent blunders easily enough without it interfering and ruining the flow of the story, but this was just... *shakes head* I literally had to stop several times and read carefully to make certain I was understanding what you wrote correctly. Seriously, you're a good writer, but the number of grammatical errors ruins the story. Please take the time to spell check and edit as a blunder of this magnitude could dissuade others from reading more of your stories. I know I'm reluctant to.

So, good story, very erotic, but horrible horrible grammar.

You have a great gift for conversation and commentary, adding humor, while still building tension. Loved this story!!!

Really no improvements possible that I can think of...just damn good stuff!

Great story. Nice bit of background. Believable characters. Hot sex with good descriptions. Good use of 1st person voice. My only complaint is that your protagonist lasts an awfully long time for both the set up(forbidden sex) and his age. Other than that, a thoroughly enjoyable story that I hope continues to add chapters. There's a great deal of potential here and it would be fun to see how these siblings navigate sex and couplehood on top of their family relations. Great stuff. Look forward to more. Thanks for sharing!

Just had to comment on your "Dear grammar police" speech. I loved it. :D Why can't people get past the fact that this is an amateur story site and we are bound to have a few grammatical errors. Just read and enjoy the story for what's it's worth. I have a hard time believing that a few typos can interrupt the flow so bad that you can't continue reading a great story. You nailed it with "grammar OCD". That's exactly it. Become an English teacher if you feel the need to correct spelling and punctuation. I get the same critics for some of my submissions and hay, I use spell and grammar check but what the F, errors get through. Big Fing deal. Keep writing my friend and F the GD grammar police.

My older sister never hid her sexual feelings for me from mom, once she took my virginity when I was still quite young. We were able to sleep together quite often, but we hid from dad. As sis related to me later, mom knew we were fucking because at first we stopped fighting, and then I avoided my sister in front of my mom because sis was constantly kissing and hugging me in front of her. When I was avoiding my sister when mom was home sis would ask mom a million times where was I? "Who are you, his wife?" mom asked her once. Sis looked at her and said, "No, but I wish I was..." still looking at her. My mother slanted her head at sis and asked, "How long?" My sister, without breaking eye contact, knew what mom was asking and said, "...Almost a year..." "Don't let dad know..." was all mom said. But from then on both my sis AND mom would hug and kiss me whenever dad was not home, both running their hands through my hair, but also they started bralessly openly-downblousing in front of me keeping me in a constantly-excited state! And recently sis has started to walk around naked when dad's not home. Mom walks around smiling all the time nearly naked herself...!

Great story i hope you write some more about these 2 as for the OCD aceholes known as grammar Police they can stick it where the sun don't shine if you can't read without using your mind then go back and lay in the dirt

So there were a few errors here and there. But so what. I was warned. I could get thru it. So to the grammatical OCD bunch out there....Get over yourselves. Morons.

awesome, it was beautifully written, has me craving a chapter 2

Yes, there are a few errors here and there, but the bulk of the story was excellent. The internet is the only place where people get stuff for absolutely free and still bitch about it. Keep writing, and keep up the good work!

A couple plot points I'm curious about- 1) The noise level these two are generating. Mom and Dad have to be hearing them- Are they listening? Trying to ignore it? Getting it on simultaneously? 2) How is Sister going to react when she comes down off of the Ecstasy and realizes she just marathon-fucked her own brother? Anger? Shame? A rousing chorus of "I always wanted to do that but never had the metaphorical balls?"

Please write a follow-up to this story! I'd love to read more!

I really liked the story, it was very hot. Keep writing! I thought you did a good job on the first person point of view.

If this was your first try at a first-person pov, you did a good job. I liked the story, its premise, and its buildup between the siblings. Keep learning, and your future stories will be all the more better.

This a very good piece of writing, it would be a shame if you didn't continue this story

Loved it!

didn t care for it,no,no

Not like the other stories but quite good

For the most part I liked it fine.. But, 'wet sloppy pussy?' Eeeew! Was kind of an odd comment / descriptor considering hes been going on about how tiny her pussy is, lol.

Fantastic story. The best thing I liked is the conversation between siblings. Very errotic. U keep on writing.

Absolutely loved it. Please continue this story. Unbelievably great

your story started out sounding a bit to wordy, but then you painted a complex combinations of story boards. Graphic and yet not vulgar your plot played. I started seeing you the somewhat novice. Yet skillfull and loving toward the sister. Damn it man i could see the tattooed goth/emo/ grunge what the fuck ever. you and her are real living people in my head. I was breathless and the tension was palpabble. You made your story possible to be either the brother or the sister. I have read many a story and this effort has been moved up into my top 5 stories that truly got me so aroused and envious of your writing. Bravo, two thumbs up, a high five with fist bumps. If inspired please try to write more on this story. TYVM. Booyah!!!!

more please

i think you should make a series out this my good sir, you could weave an infinite number of scenarios for these two characters, per example,maybe the sister ets pregnant and the two have to deal with that while avoiding and or breaking the news to the parents sort of thing. you have great things ahead of you.

total waste of time this is one of the most poorly written stories here HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED to have posted it.

thought sis was just a slut at first but seems to be falling in love with big dick little brother good writing so far hope there's more cumming on this story its been good so far and i don't usually read brother sister stories but really good

Wish you would have added another chapter

More.

how different my life would've been had I had a sister like that... or any woman like that around me really.. probably wouldn't be sitting here reading stories, I'd be writing my own.. well I have written 3 chapters (only 2 were allowed to publish) but I'd have taken things a lot farther... or more likely I'd be too busy getting laid to write at all instead of being a 30 year old virgin without a clue.

big tattoos on a woman look gaudy for life. She will never be able to look nice in a sun dress. Never be able to dress up nice for a husband's dinner party when she is 40. Total cover up when all the other ladies can dress sexy. A pierced clit loses sensation because nerves are severed. It may feel good pulling on the ring, but never the same as it could have been.

"You are going to fuck me with it again aren't you?" Yea........... Sorry but the girl in this story IS a stone-cold, red-hot, freak! I loved it when she said: "Harder baby, harder fuck up into me just like that, pound me, ruin that pussy."

That was awesome, never laughed so hard and had a boner at the same time, thanks.

Shaved pussy NO! I prefer women NOT little kids.

I loved the dialogue. Great visual image. Not in the pill?

Great writing!

I love shaved pussy. The first time I saw one I was about 18 and a friends ex-girlfriend went out with me. We got to the start of undressing and I saw she was shaved, the first one I'd seen. I almost came in my shorts.

...these really get in the way of comprehension.

What really upsets me is you have real talent and you could be a good writer but sentences like “erotic site I had ever scene, I would've been scare.”, with three howlers in ten words just make me annoyed. It’s sight, seen and scared that you meant! Don’t you care? And don’t give me the grammar police crap, this is like a new BMW with a scratch and some dents. It goes just as fast and is just as comfortable but you wouldn’t buy it. If you are going to do something do it as well as you can. 5 stars for story but please...

What an amazing piece of writing, yes there were some errors but big deal. The story was great and I really enjoyed reading it.

Janie's way of telling her brother she was totally unprotected,it was so beautiful to hear her not admit it,but hope she wasn't on the pill so she and baby brother could have a baby and come out to their parents that they are carrying their grandchild/son or daughter.

Granted Janie indeed was a freak in lots more ways than one but its obvious Janie was every bit as lovable and caring to give her brother the love only siblings can give,and maybe Janie can give him a daughter so they can raise her to give her father/brother and mother/sister the pleasure of incest,nothing is more beautiful than that.

Really good story but ending could have been better. Not longer just worded differently.

Loved it, just wished there were a few more chapters

5/5

V. Hawt und Sexy!

10/10!!!!!

The ending could have been far better than that

what a dildo, cunt even spell three prior to starting the story.

Every once in awhile you come across an author who knows how to really write a sex scene, not just “wham bam,” but really understands how to paint word pictures that put the reader not just as an observer, but almost as a participant in the action, if that were possible. More rare is the writer who can create an actual story that connects the erotic moments with smart, snappy dialogue which brings the characters to life and makes you care about them. When you come across a writer who can do both, you’ve found the most elusive talent of all, someone whose gift should be encouraged.

I know what you said about the “grammar police” before the story, but please, take the well-meaning thoughts not as criticism, but as encouragement to polish the diamond to its full brilliance. An editor would help you greatly, and your gift with words deserves to be displayed in all its potential glory. While some found the errors distracting, I have learned to make the mental corrections on the fly, as I read, but not everyone is able to or has the patience for that, so it’s important to make sure your work is polished and publication-ready when you submit it. It would really raise the bar on your already considerable abilities.

To the detractor who claimed that piercing a clitoris severs nerves and makes for diminished pleasure, if you had paid attention, you would have read that it was not her clit that was pierced, but the hood, along its length, which is a common method and DOES enhance a woman’s pleasure and provides an almost constant low-level stimulation which is always at the edge of consciousness, and is easily brought to the “center stage” of her awareness, when desired (and sometimes, when not 😏). This is the whole point and why women do it. If you’ve ever seen such a piercing performed (I have), you would understand and appreciate the skill involved in doing it correctly and how erotic it is both visually and tactilely, once completed.

However, I digress.

To the author, again, readers would be well-served to learn how this couple makes their relationship work, in future chapters. My hope is that you delight them in allowing them to find out.

At the end it wasn't stated whether Sister was on the pill or not,but her cryptic message "Do you really care?" and other answers pretty much told you she was as unprotected as hell,so Brother possibly conceived their baby.

But honestly I think at that late stage Sister probably argued her statement that Sex was unemotional and detached,but with her Brother she contradicted herself and fell for her Brother and the Father of her Child.So should Sister and Brother accept eachother as love interests and welcome their newborn baby as their incestuous half sibling/daughter or son.My answer to that is Hell Yes and they should declare maybe not the incest part but atleast the raising of the baby as Mother and Uncle,but still engaging in incest,and openly dating in public.That would be the perfect outcome.

I just want to say that this story was a great read. I truly enjoyed how gifted you are for really telling a story. Yes having an editor would help with the mistakes, proof reading two or three times would also be helpful. Sometimes hearing critiques from other people are very discouraging. Don't look at it like that. Just take it as constructive criticism. Remember your have a gift that many writers don't have. So keep writing and please add more to this wonderful story.

More, please.

Nice to have a brother with a big thick cock!.,

Please learn to write past a fifth-grade level before posting anything else.

Please post more! 5th grade level or otherwise.