All Comments on 'The Lady Cop'

It was short and to the point, but didn't seem rushed. Everyone seemed believable and fleshed out just enough to carry the story. My only wish is for a chapter 2 or 3. Keep up the great work. And if you ever want an editor I would love to help.

I liked it! I hope you continue.

I really enjoyed that, it seemed balanced somehow. Well done.

Please continue this story!

For your first submission, it was a very good read. I'm more of character depth type of reader, but I enjoyed the setup and the scenes. Hope you keep writing.

Anent your request in the Story Feedback BB Forum:

Officer Collins is in a one-person RPC, which means she has completed her training and probation periods, and is experienced enough to be assigned to a one-person RPC. i.e., she's handled dozens and dozens of DUIs and domestic violence calls. Faced with Thomas Avenel, presumably in a up-scale house with its own garage, dressed in an imported silk suit, she would have known she was not dealing with a drunk or a DV call, but was probably on a legitimate burglary call and wouldn't have exhibited the attitude she did initially. Nine paragraphs in, you had lost my willing suspension of disbelief.

After that, the rest proceeded on into good/very good territory. But you never regained my lost suspension of disbelief. Officer Collins wasn't a real person, thereafter, just a blonde bimbo sex object in a Lit stroke story.

[FWIW, at 68 the story part of stroke-stories is more important to me than the stroke part in Lit stories. There are a lot of good storytellers here. Had you given more thought to Officer Collins, she would have been a more believable character. Do that in the future, and I'll be looking forward to more of your work on your way to being one of those good Lit storytellers.]

LitID: Tyro999

Very enjoyable, very readable and sexy too!

Let's see. Wish fulfillment with a wealthy protagonist. Awkward, manufactured conflict with a lady cop. She came alone to the call? At night? No partner? Vanilla sex too. Her dialogue is just variations on "fuck me harder." Droll and senseless.

To Anonymous:

Yes, I think a lot of stories in this category would be considered wish fulfillment.

The protagonist is never characterized as wealthy but I can see where you get that as his profession requires expensive taste and style. Maybe he should have been a poor crackhead?

You say it's "awkward", but I think you mean it's implausible which goes back to wish fulfillment. I agree it was a shamelessly manufactured conflict. Without it, I think our hero would have merely gone home and jerked off and while I'm sure there's value in telling that story, personally I don't think it would be very entertaining.

Just so you know, many police jurisdictions mandate single officer cars as a previous anonymous commentator explained with excellent knowledge and detail. Not sure where you live, but the cops here work both day AND night so yes, she came alone, at night, without a partner. In order to keep the story as brief as possible I admit to breezing over a TON of police procedure, this is an erotic short story not a crime drama.

Vanilla sex, yes. These two just met, I don't think they're ready to start peeing in each others' mouths right off the bat.

Droll AND senseless? The story didn't make sense, yet you found it "amusing in an odd or wry way"? If the story doesn't make sense then what you find droll would be the authors' effort. Only a bully discourages effort.

Thanks for the feedback, next time let's either be a bit more intelligent with your comments or just say it's rubbish, it's not going to hurt my feelings!