by The_Maestro_Braddock
I admit, I only got about 4 paragraphs in. You kept mixing up "I" and "He," as well as "him" and "me," and "his" and "my." You don't breathe things into your own ear, generally. Usually I can take mistakes well enough to at least finish, but it was just too much. Fix that, though, and I think you've got quite the story.
Thanks for alerting me to the issues. As I was writing I vacillated on who was to be the POV character and I expect a lot of the issues were due to that switch. Unfortunately, all the mistakes I mixed, including the one you pointed out specifically were well after the four paragrpah mark. If you get a chance to read the revised version and catch what I missed in the early goings, please don't hesitate to give me a head's up.
Thanks!
(Please note, I've submitted the edited version but it is, as of this moment, not yet live.
Here's the edited version with the grammar errors, hopefully, cleared up. Thanks again for drawing my attention to them so I could address the problem. I do hope this makes everyone's reading experience a measure more enjoyable.