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English
Great first story
from an author with a most unusual pen name. I'd have to say that your first effort is truly a "paragon of virtue". l look forward to your next story and give this one top rating.
A good start
A good start, but I think Daddy needs a little more stress relief and Daughter needs to Cum some more.
an excellent start!
Wow. I have to say I was hooked from the first few paragraphs! Excellent story and I can't wait for the next chapter!
wow
Please write more chapters.. I have given you a 5 star rating and bookmarked so I dont miss the next chapter.. And your writing is excellent and the story great.. I cant wait to see what happens next
Impressive
Very good story. Very exciting. Two things I'd like to see more of though, dialogue between the characters, and a bit more explanation about the ?paranormal? ?supernatural? happenings surrounding Madeline. The midnight standing & staring, the invisible friend, the book stacking ... very intriguing, but then suddenly dismissed in the story. Keep up the good work though! Still very good.
Very nicely done
But as Overlord said some more background on the girl would be cool.
Very well done, and quite arousing too. In a Thriller/Horror movie sort of way.
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