All Comments on 'Lilly'

by Victoura56

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  • 6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Please....

Go back to school and learn how to write..........

bowlergirl25bowlergirl25almost 12 years ago
An ok story

Was this your first time? The story rushed through. There was no real background to the main character, the alien was almost indescribable, and the sex scene was a little quick and somewhat non decriptive.

I feel if you took a little more time with the middle and end it could be a better story.

I hope i could provide a little constructive insight

dliterdliteralmost 12 years ago
Keep trying

Not too bad for a first time, but definitely needs more development. If he is giving her a choice in accepting him then he should give her more info to make the choice.

stormy0628stormy0628almost 12 years ago
don't let it get to you

This was a good story with a little work it would be a great story. I would love to read what happens next

TheGryphonsOnFIRETheGryphonsOnFIREalmost 12 years ago
Sigh...

I've read things like this on this sight alot. Try to redo this with a bit more originalality.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Constructive

This almost feels like it could have been multiple chapters crammed into one. Not bad though

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userVictoura56@Victoura56
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I like to write lots of stories, mostly about impregnation. If I ever finish any and like them, I'll post them up here. Thanks for reading!