All Comments on 'I Became a Man Overnight'

I loved it. He became a man by protecting her and taking steps to beat the tyrant down. The dad was the one that wasnt a man. You did a fine job of telling it right . He became the man by letting his mom become a woman again, free to express herself w/o fear of reprisal

Critique #1: Learn the difference between a comma and a period, and use them correctly. Your sentences would make a hell of a lot more sense if you could do that.

Critique #2: Learn how to tell a story. This was all over the fucking place. From point a, it should flow to point b, then to point c, and so on. It can flow in a straight forward, chronological fashion, or it can use flashbacks or even change perspectives (the points of view of different people telling the story from "their" perspectives). The way you wrote this was like you don't know you're able to edit what you've written. If you forgot to mention a detail, GO BACK AND EDIT IT IN. Don't just type it in wherever you happen to be at the moment you remember it, like a horse deciding to take a shit wherever it happens to be at THAT moment. And yes, that's a comparison. Which brings me to...

Critique #3: This story wasn't worth my time to even read. It wasn't interesting. It wasn't arousing. It wasn't much of anything, except a waste of time and bandwidth. It was a steaming pile of ...That's right: horse shit.

I love happy endings and this story has a very happy ending.

The only thing that was needed; is for her to have become pregnant and have children with her new husband / lover.

Thanks for the good read.

You really need an editor and I also agree with the comment 'fucking your mommy doesn't make you a man'.

Yes, you are a MAN now. Salute you. Hope to read more of your story.

I would have given 5 stars, but you didn't get her pregnant when you moved to another town.

I'm not going to say anything about grammar, sentence structure or shit like that.

I lived the story, I only wish mine turned out so well as this one did.

ES

that's so edible

anyone is interested in his blathering. Listen, bp, do everyone a favor and just go away. As for the story, it is excellent. Ryan is a genuine hero, and he gets a hero's reward: his own mother's incomparable cunt. He's so obviously a fine son that his mom's lovely coochie will to open to her darling boy's big stiff prick from now on. There, between his mother's legs, Ryan will have the perfect place to unload his hot young balls, spurting his creamy semen up the same cunt he came out of. The heroic young motherfucker.

Brilliant story. What a shame she didn't get pregnant at the end, still ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️