by JukeboxEMCSA
...Now that they let gays into the military, this technique might need some sprucing up. Fun story though.
I don't see any mind control or brain washing..............even in fiction a man doesn't get controlled by just the sight of a slutty woman. Unless the major was telepathic??
why is this listed as a mind control story? it relies purely on basic sexual instinct and that is not strong enough to control trained soldiers like that. utter garbage. stop writing now please. you suck at it.
trained soldiers would not forsake their training for pussy, especially considering the pussy is the enemy and can just turn it on them and kill them. I agree it can be effective as spies are trained in such methods but it wont work on a battlefield without some kind of drug.
I think the story premise is great. The problem: it is not believable, hence the criticism from others. Maybe turn this into a dream, someone's fantasy, and then slowly shape it into reality somehow. Or create a pheromone either through chemicals or genetic enhancement. (if it is chemicals, then you could maybe have "sex grenades", or something) Although this takes away from the nature bit, it does silence the criticism targeting the story's believability.
It is a good story and one that I like, although I agree with the other comments and criticisms. In order for it to be a mind control story, you'd have to have a premise other than just female seduction. Consider adding a bit of hypnosis theme to the covert part of the Seduction Brigade's tactics in the story , and you're there!
Consider a second part of the story or a sequel that focuses on that aspect and you've got a winner!