All Comments on 'First Taste'

by thedarcy

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  • 13 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
More

More please , that was great

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
nice

A very nice read, but a little quick.

Also, there were a few weird formatting errors (paragraph spacing) but it wasn't enough to distract for long.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Lame

Not descriptive enough, or realistic.

BonoVox99BonoVox99almost 12 years ago
Absolute garbage

Never let a guy write a lesbian story.

fleetusafleetusaalmost 12 years ago
great start but needs editing

and spell checking!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
flattering to deceive

very interesting but it jumped to fast,she should have been seduced by adrian

quietandshy2000quietandshy2000almost 12 years ago
Not a Fan

Keep writing and take your time. Its not a sprint. The plot has potential, work on execution.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

It should be a little more descriptive and a plot like that should of took more time and given attention to detail and adrian should of seduced her more maybe over that week but it definitly has poteintial keep it up!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Read & Learn

Good first effort. Read the comments and take them to heart you have potential.

Prove Bonovox99 wrong.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
woah

Really good but it needs some work.

thedarcythedarcyalmost 12 years agoAuthor
From the Author

Thanks for reading my first attempt at erotica. It was something random that I wasn't expecting to turn out at all. I will definitely work on it to make it a better read. Thank you for the honest and constructive feedback.

southernlezziesouthernlezziealmost 12 years ago
good...

it's good, but could be tweeked a little bit.. other than that, cudos for ur first time!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
ugh

The comment on 4-23-12 is even sadder than the "writing" in the story itself. The author says it was "random" that the story emerged. So, it wrote itself, then? Literotica needs to raise the bar on the level of storytelling it allows into print. This one is too lame.

Anonymous
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