by ElleMonroe
Great build up and scenario. Change of narrative tense distracted a bit but the characters felt real enough for the story to work. Thank you for sharing.
I really would have liked a longer first chapter - but I am curious and excited enought to want to read more
but next time, read through and edit a bit more before posting. Lack of consistency in your tense is a little distracting.
Your description and style bring me right into the story. Very intense. Looking forward to the next installments.
Well written; good spelling and grammar along with an intriguing plot line. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Very exciting. Next time read through before posting, there were a few writing errors. But I wait eagerly for the next chapter.
wow love this first part of THE FIRST ENCOUNTER
just getting into it now i want more . i can see this being a real hot horny story .
love the writing now do waste time start to write the next part .
I enjoyed the first part of your story and didn't mind the shorter length because it was good for an intro that led quickly to a bit of action.
My one complaint would be that the switch from past to present tense was a little distracting. There were some grammatical things that were the kinds of mistakes that I personally find myself making when I am working quickly.
That being said, I respect anyone who puts a story up here and I really enjoyed yours.