Great story. Hope to see more. Very very soon.
Oh fuck!!!!!!! Where is part 2!!!!!!!!!
learn how to write a sentence. all of the comma's in all the wrong places, trying to extend sentences is so screwed up. get someone to teach you how to write and the proper use of punctuation.
Ignore the idiot who was negative about the grammar. What a tossa he is!
Ignore the idiot who said "Ignore the idiot who was negative about the grammar." Poor sentence structure and inconsistent use of tense severely detract from your story. Find someone to proofread your work or, if you already have a proofreader, get a better one.
Thanks for the upbeat comments. Chapter two is in the works.
Sorry anonymous. I thought this was literotica. Didnt realize I was in grammer class again. Duh.
Loved it, it made me hot remembering how big my stepdad was....yes watch the structure but baby, keep writing
And if you hadn't noticed, this is LITerotica. Not 'porn for illiterates'.
I'm one of many on this site who won't read anything with crap spelling and grammar. Wise up.
Great Story when is part 2 coming soon I hope
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