I was part way finished when I saw your name, pretty good one honey.
But your grammar really needs some work. Punctuation is off, sentence structure was skewed often times, and the general conversation just kind of turned me off about 1/3 the way through. You have potential with your writing and your story lines. Your biggest problem is getting the writing so that the story just flows along.
Try submitting your work to some of the proof readers listed. And if you don't have it, enlist the assistance of spell check and grammar check in MS Office or some other word processing program.
It doesn't matter much though. I get about as far as your fetish for glasses (STILL don't get that one) and I'm done. Skip to the end to rate your story as "Sucks", and I'm done.
I must admit though, I see your name on a story, I have to wonder how far in you'll get before you talk about some of your "Half-Glasses" garbage, and I just have to find out. It's like "not looking at an auto accident" when you drive past. You know it's probably ugly, but you look anyway.
It gets old, dude. Really old.
Well I can see this is not working at all.
I really thought that after RS kicked my
ass on "Dad and Joanie" things would
have been better in the next story.
He said you can't get much in a one page
story and gave me a lot of good advice.
So far as the punctuation though,
don't you think that maybe you are
being rough? Lit has no problem
rejecting a story if the punctuation
and or spelling is off. I do have MS
office word, in fact the story was rejected
once already for spelling errors
I may be around again sometime but that
will be after I have improved my grammar
which I know is not good quite often. English
class in H.S. was mostly doing book reports,
regular grammar? Hell that was a long time ago
Maybe reading BarondeSades works and the
classics like Dickens and Anthony Trollop may
So far as Baloney_Pony though, hard to say
if it is just the fetish he so hates or the grammar.
But he comes across to me that if he ever wrote
a story, I think it would be a pretty damn good one..
Well B_P which is it? the grammar or the fetish?
If in your opinion my stories are so bad, why bother
reading them? Maybe you get off dumping on my
stories? Maybe you dump on everyones story?
Maybe you really have crappy attitude about
everything? stories, life? Were you born with a hair
across your ass? And maybe you wrote a comment
about me which was so bad even LIT would not allow
it to be posted? June 1st.I would not doubt it.
You talk about bad grammar yet you never bothered to
write a story. I did write a comment saying that if you
did write a story, I thought it would be a damn good one.
By no means do I apologise for my stories, I try to write
a better story using the "writers resources"
I don't know what your story is, possibly many ask that
question. You seem to have enjoyed asking,"Are you
drunk when you write?" Baloney_Pony I really feel bad
You seem to be a sad and very bitter person who
can't find anything nice about life. You need help.
Do you not have the balls to write a story?
either you don't like the fetish or the grammar.
I bet you could not write a story and get it posted,
It is easy to trash anothers story when you have
never posted a story.
You are probably a very mean person, not
because you don't like my stories, I don't mind
that you don't like them, I don't expect everyone
to like all my stories
But you know you don't like them and read
them anyways so you can trash them after.
Well go ahead and trash them if that is how
you feel, I don't expect much from you and
chances are, your friends don't either.
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