All Comments on 'You Want Me to What?'

It could have been a lot longer, but I liked it a lot.*****

needed some character development - it was between a 4 and a5 and since they dont have 4.5 i gabve u the higher.

In a hurry huh!

Cool story. You could have made this much longer. A plot line like this deserves more depth. You could have a lot of fun with this subject matter. Still rated it 5 though.

I agree that this story has the potential to be a novel, or at least a very long story. The story of Victor's family and the company. Ana's family and how she got pregnant. The development of the relationship between Ana and Victor from hostile to lovingly married is worth a few great chapters.

I hope you wrote this story as a rough sketch and after reading comments that most everyone likes the basic story that you will go home and do your homework.

A crazy situation for sure but in the end everyone was happy. Strange but if this tale was in LW my comment would have been different.

A really nifty story.

Really neat story. It has, for me at least, just that perfect blend of humor and tragedy that makes for really good reading.

up to a point. I enjoyed the story until I came to the last few paragraphs. Instant love between Victor and Ana pushed the envelope of reality. I could have understood that they fell in love after being together for a few months or a year but not in the instant manner they did. I know this is fiction but it should at least give credence to the real world.

I like the way you write and hope you continue. Thanks for the hard work.

Woodmanone

This is a nice story that is too short and ends too soon.

I would let that bastard dead. And take revenge from all of them

Woodmanone said it better than I could ever improve upon.

Interesting well done story. Good work!

I think you could have done a better job of character development. At no point did you allow for Victor and Ana to actually get acquainted with one another. I felt like the story was rushed and incomplete.

Here's how I'd have done it.

I'd do it under 2 conditions. 1 have dad hand the company over to mom like it was done in the story.

And 2, after a year father in law has to go ahead with his original plan and put the Son of a B father in a vat of acid because the only goddamn way I'd raise that kid would be if he were dead. Make part 2 in secret with the father in law. The dude is from south of the boarder, he would totally see where I was coming from and be down with it.

BS, son should have let his asshole father die. Why would he want the woman who fucked his dad? She obviously is an idiot.

Not much there to think about really. Poor conclusion, no character development, and idiotic premise.