by Malinov
Very hard to get by your awkward flowery language. Could have been a good story for that. You need to be more plain spoken and colloquial. And your stories would be more approachable.
I agree with Hamster. The story would be a lot better if told simply. As it is, it just comes across as pretentious.
Hamster needs to get a grip! The language was fine.
This was a good quicky.