All Comments on 'Visiting Niece Ch. 01'

you need to finish it.

Only get 3 stars.

Literotica is about sex, there is none in this story.

Be more careful with editing. For example, in a few places you say "women" when you man "woman." There are also some run-on sentences and other things that break the flow while reading.

But overall, I like the characters and your descriptions.

You've got to love the folks who hide behind the "Anonymous" moniker. They think that makes it OK to diss and complain about this and that. The title SAYS that this is the first installment, so quitcherbitchin! This is a typical "set the hook" first installment. We all know exactly where it's going, so let's all allow the author to take us on the adventure he has invented. Looking forward to Part 2.

Totally agree Hamster... Well said.

Gotta admit, i thought it had promise, but...

Where's the reality? Oh yeah, 19 year old nieces say "sit right here while I go put on a flimsy sexy little nothing and show you that it isn't really." Sorry, I won't be waiting for Chapter 2.

LOL. This a fucking story doesn't matter if it doesn't have a lot of reality. If you want reality go read the fucking newspaper. I liked it looking forward to the next chapter.

great story, well written, but an incredible tease!

can't wait for the next chapter.

You have a very superficial and ignorant notion of fiction. You never saw a movie, read a book, where the story just didn't make sense, where reason and logic were lacking? Fiction does NOT give an author carte blanche to do whatever he/she wants. Oh, technically they can, nit that does not absolve them from criticism.

The moment Becky began discussing how hard her nipples got during the photoshoot, this young woman's intentions were patently clear. No doubt they'll come to fruition in the next chapter.

Great start to what may be a great story.

I only gave it three stars because it wasn't finished and just a tease, Tease stories are like teasing girls leaves you unfulfilled.

Seems she was advertizing but he was toodunb to act.

Hope next chapter is out soon and has a little more action.

One of the previous comments said "Literotica is about sex, there is none in this story"

I would say the Literotica is about erotica, not sex, hence the name. Erotica cab be about the arousal created by teasing, in any form, stories, poems, film, lingerie, etc. For me this story provided a great deal of arousal, which I think was the point.

Her uncle is handling her very well however, he has to stop saying inappropriate all the time. I would think he might say something like "what's your point" or "do you realise what you're saying/doing". The word inappropriate would make me think he wants her to stop what she is doing or saying.

Very good

I think it's a great start for a very promising story. Please continue at your pace and write for a long time.

Constructive criticism.

This story is desperately in need of editing for grammar and spelling! Poor grammar detracts from your story. A few basics: it's 1 womAn and 2 or more womEn! There's no such contraction as "her's", in fact, what you've written breaks down as "her is or her was". Finally, "must of" makes no sense, that you want is "must have"!

I assume your story contains more of such errors , unfortunately I've reached my limit of poor grammar for one day.