All Comments on 'Q & A about Swinging'

by WaltForest

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  • 16 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
My open marriage

My wife and I swing and have had an open marriage for 6 years. We have been married 13 years. My wife has always had a larger sexual appetite than I and allowing her to have sex either in a swing environment or with one of her lovers alone has saved our marriage.

This is not to say we don't have marital issues. We do. My wife, since we began swinging loves exhibitionism, loves being then center of attention. When she went farther than i wanted, we separated for 3 months.

I would like to swing less, My wife Liz, will not give up her extra marital or swinging.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Then"My Open Marriage"

ought to start using the appropriate self-title of "Cuckold".

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
That's one viewpoint

When it comes to sexual appetites and mores, one size doesn't fit all. You've obviously got a vary jaded and limited viewpoint; thankfully it doesn't mean that I have to have that same point of view.

ErotonautErotonautalmost 12 years ago
Very interesting essay

I recall one couple I knew vaguely explaining they planned to bring a third person into their marriage (a guy), and claiming it was bound to work because they'd each done the same thing with their *previous* marriages. They were so dumb, it wasn't worth pointing out the blindingly obvious conclusion to be drawn from that statement.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
???

I am sorry you have had such bad life experiences. I, and plenty of women I know, would not agree with your narrow view of the world and our desires. Three minutes of my life I can never get back...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Women DO like it!

We've attended many Saunas (Swinging Clubs) in Northern England. Most allow single men, except on Couples Only nights, and many women - myself included - enjoy multiple partners, the reason they attend.

Meeting Swinging couples IS very different: Unless you stick to 'same room' activity you will find peoples real agenda. I've had guys turn up at our house wanting a solo session.

Single females DO exsist, we've had plenty of them, often they've left their partner at home 'minding the children' is the usual excuse. Usually they are seeking Bi fun, without their partner interfering.

lenalovesfunlenalovesfunalmost 12 years ago
why be anonymous?

I am a single female who loves sex in all shapes and forms. I would have to disagree with your viewpoint. Having "played" with a few couples I must say the wives have been just as into it as the husbands if not more so. And I would love to have an open or swinging relationship but the men in my life have never agreed.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
So jaded...

This is such a limited view of the swinging world. It is a pity that you have had humiliating experiences, or look through blinders.

The swinging world is so much more than that. My first wife (God rest her soul) and I were swingers back in the 80's. It was a wonderful, frightening world (especially with the AIDS epidemic so freshly new in peoples' minds back then), and yes, I had met many people that would match what you wrote about. On the whole, however, they were in the minority.

Today, clubs are more exciting. Many of the parties do allow unicorns (single males) on an approval basis, and the basis for hooking up is more of an agreement of ALL parties concerned, not just the women. Yes, they do hold the power in this world, but it works out. You see, for a man to have another man's wife, the second man must still appeal to the woman, if even at the most base level. With that said, how they look, how they think, how they carry themselves, their comportment and behavior, etc., is paramount to the initial contact.

Men can be horndogs. So can women. Women can be sexually powerful. So can men. The one thing I have found to be true is that swinger search for like minded people. Contacts made in this forum have just as much validity as any other, although the method of contact is hidden from those who do not subscribe this lifestyle.

My son and his wife are now second generation swingers. Their marriage is strong (10 years and counting). They have 3 children. She is Bi. They have been with other couples, other single women, and single men. They fulfill each other's fantasies. Now that I am divorced from my second wife (who was not into swinging), my son has brought me back into this world. I enjoy the atmosphere, the sexual charge, and those around me know I am single. I do not initiate contact, but rather wait for them to make the first move. This has garnered me more partners than you would believe, based on your view. And I do not pay exhorbitant prices to get in either. I am not saying others don't do this, I am saying that I had matched their views, and my behavior proves my intentions. I am more well received, and others hope I find someone for myself so I don't feel like the sore thumb I am at these places. In other words, I found my place.

In closing, I would like to say that views of the swinging world are subjective in nature. So are men's clubs, women's clubs, certain private organizations, etc. You make of it what you will. If you find it disappointing, don't go. I just hope you do find something you like. That way you can enjoy it.

cpetecpetealmost 12 years ago
Bummer man...

LOL-fine little tale based on your experiences (I guess).

Threw cold water on all my "Penthouse Forum-ish" fantasies!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
You're missing some obvious points

I've been swinging for nearly 30 years now, both as a single guy and as a couple.

Firstly, you've missed one of the key things about single guys place in swinging.The female love of adulation, especially physical. Having two or more men worshipping her body is many swinging ladies' idea of heaven, physically and psychologically. Whether she lets them all fuck her rather than limiting them to manual and oral - well, that depends, usually on how good they are at stimulating her!

Secondly, single girls do exist and there are more about than you think. I recently had a two-year 'friendship with benefits' with a lady who quite simply did not want the ties of boyfriend/girlfriend let alone marriage. But she had a very strong libido and was up for pretty much anything - bi, couples, group, parties, clubs and a few kinks besides, anywhere, anytime. I have seen the way single girls behave in clubs; they know they can have their pick of the other visitors of either sex and boy is that a power trip!

Thirdly, couples' motivations vary much more than you suggest; I've had long-standing and one-off friendships with a dozen couples and no two were the same. The bi element could be in or out; the husband could be anything from fully involved to not even in the room; the lady could want to be slowly seduced or naked and waiting. The one rule is - don't ask, don't tell. Just enjoy the sensations, whatever they may be.....!!

ursusmagnusursusmagnusover 11 years ago
In praise of single hung men...

Early in our relationship it became obvious that my wife has a big cock fetish, and while we have had manage a trois experiences with a girlfriend of hers (our first time opening up our relationship) I've found single well hung (sometimes hugely so) guys are easier to find, deal with, and make her eyes roll back in her head.

Couples double the weirdness potential and are often just not that much fun (personal experiences, your own may differ), while single dudes have a normal male fixation: they just want to get laid with minimal expense, time, and bother. The hung ones know they're in demand and seek out the ease of a quick no hassles lay. My wife loves the feel of a new strange cock stretching her and with two of us she doesn't have to make any decisions, since one of us, if not both, are always pleasing her.

Our own relationship has its normal ups and downs and our sex, like all long term couples, can get stale or hung up on other factors like budgets, house chores, and responsibilities and whose fault a problem is, etc. With a stranger, once we've had a beer or two together at a bar and decide we're all compatible enough to get down it's straight to no holds barred sex with no worries about emotions or other baggage.

My wife knows I love her and will still respect in the morning and will not give her grief about the fact she sucked off another guy while I watched, or let him pull her hair while she screamed from taking his cock as deep and hard as he could shove it into her. Since she knows I'll wake up hard and tell her how sexy she is and was last night while gently and lovingly fucking her, she doesn't have to worry what her date last night thinks of her, beyond hooking up again if we all want.

As a normal 6" inch guy there's something incredibly hot about watching a guy use your wife to make his huge rod spurt, usually after she's done things she might otherwise not chose, like deep throating, swallowing, or letting a guy she's known for 2 hours come in her or on her face, or shove her head into the pillow while fucking her so hard from behind his nuts are swinging around and slapping her clit at the end of each fast deep stroke. I like the little grunts a big guy I'll force her from her as he makes her take his huge cock deeper than she's used to. Hung guys like that they don't have to go slow and be gentle for once, but can rip it up and stick it in as fast and hard as they want, or grab the back of her head or hair while jamming their cocks into her throat without fear she'll take offense.

So here's to single endowed guys; fuck her as rough as you can, make her moan and submit, and she'll still respect me in the morning. We just like to cut loose and get kinky every once and awhile. Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Something that needs to be mentioned

Swinging is one of the few ways that a 40+ year old woman can reliably get married.

Men's motivations for marriage are often either sex and heirs. When a woman is old enough that heirs are not a possibility-then sex becomes much more important.

A 40+ year old woman can easily get all the casual sex she wants-and will still be in demand in swinging circles. the thing is: She will have trouble getting interest of men that identify as wanting to get married and are actually sincere. If she swings, her value in the marriage market goes WAY up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Ha Ha Ha Oh Wow

"This reality may be bleak and oppressive, but that's all the more reason why it should be acknowledged. Otherwise, there is no way to be prepared for it or prevent ourselves from being crushed by it. Without swinging, it is very possible that I would not be here."

Let me get it straight: You feel oppressed because women aren't whores, and I'll die if I don't visit a swinger club. Duh!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Only half true

An interesting take on things and while much of it is true, much is not. As a woman, I can give you my perspective. I am straight. I think that many women swing to explore their bi side, but there are alot of straight women who claim they are bi but they are really just bi friendly. Since I am straight, I only want men. And I enjoy having sex with them, plain and simple. I also enjoy having MFM and being spoiled. I loved being adored and wanted. Single females (aka unicorns) are of no use to us since I am straight. Most unicorns are bi and couples with bi females love them because they play with the husband and wife. Straight unicorns, well they are even more rare! I feel that a straight single woman at a swingers club/party is a skank. Seriously, I stay away from them, however rare they might be. They may be looking for a sugar daddy, have a substance abuse problem or are just plain damaged. We have met many nice couples, but have equally met some not so nice couples and it is much easier to not have to deal with the complication of everybody liking each other. Single men have their place. And at every party I go to, a couple of single men are invited but it is always gender balanced. And yes, single men pay more, that is a way to ensure serious men show up, and to weed out the losers. Women are in charge, which means if we did not want to go, we wouldn't, so no need to do for the hubby. We are doing it for the both of us because we have a healthy, trusting, happy, equal marriage.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
swapping

I would love to get my wife into same room swapping.

However I am hesitant to discuss it with her,as she might get really pissed off.

Any suggestions on how to approach her about getting to swap with other couples.9D42

DrgwngDrgwngabout 2 years ago

The one point no one ever talks about,and that men fail to understand, is that as a couple, attending a swinger club, the man will be done for the evening after an hour or maybe threewhile his wife will be ready to continue the entire night. So unless the man is ready to just watch his wife, things get unbalanced really fast. This is why there are so many cuckold blogs and testimonies that they started out swinging but soon realized that a one way open was going to work better. The author here is sort of correct but is very out of date regarding female ability to engage any man enthusiastically and in quantity on her terms. They are there to demean, limit and reduce hubby,while simultaneously enhancing their own sex lives. The sales job that is currently being employed to increase cuckolding is really just the women laughing at the stupid men that go along with this.

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