All Comments on 'Son's Haiku'

by CPBaudelaire

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  • 5 Comments
YamiBoyYamiBoyover 11 years ago
^__^

Good read. Thanks for sharing. ^__^

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
unsure

This feels a little sad. Love that had to be hidden in the dark at first. Some joy in the middle, But the last lines feel like the closing of the day in reference to love. You know, also in 'Beyond the Borderline Book 2 you left me with a lot of sadness. You didn't expand on a wonderful life with Diedre. Most every line contained the sadness of how much you missed Mom. Did DeeDee lead a sad life of a memory? Does this Haiku speak of Simply Death or the Death of Love? What of Emily? Father cannot know? You write beautifully. Your attention to detail, both physical and emotional, is wonderful. Also your grammer and punctuation are pretty good. But all in all, it seems that you have a thing for sad or ambigous endings that do not wrap up the story or poetic events. It has been a good while since you posted a story and I wish you would secrete some more of your creative juices.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
5-7-5

Good, but breaks the Haiku rules in a couple lines.

DreaMajorDreaMajoralmost 4 years ago
A real poem, and a real haiku

I have given up reading most of the β€œpoemsβ€œ on Literotica because even when heartfelt, most of them are drivel. This one is different. I read it because this author can write.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
A poet of the erotic

Your writing, both this poem and your short stories/novellas, make me want to read an essay of yours, in particular, your fascination, like your readers, with mother-son love, and what brought it out in you and that which made you put pen to paper. Would like to hear your story. This is saying something, wanting o read someone's essay. Rare.

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