good, but making the drunk driver her ex ruined the realism.
Can't wait to read the next chapter.
I like that she was pregnant and that they were going to move away and make a family, and raise their child, and perhaps have more children.
Thanks for the very good read.
Thought it was great until the parents were killed off that way.
A very enjoyable story, but it seemed that in the last section - from the accident where the parents and ex were killed - you rushed along because you wanted to finish.
I liked it for it reminded me of this one I read where similer events happened with dead parents and the brother and sister getting married and having a kid although that one was a downer because the sister died of cancer later on and it ended with a bittersweet undertone so if you make a part two please don't kill off anymore people because I like the sister and brother too much to want to see them die all in all a great story
it seems like that was a little bit too clean of a bow and just feels a little rushed. sure, brother and sister suddenly started having sex, lo and behold, that day the parents who would have raised issues and the ex boyfriend who would have been a problem died in a mutual car accident! oh, now everyone has forgotten they exist and can go off and get themselves psudeomarried and have no problems in the world!
So the parents and ex-boyfriend get killed off conveniently. Then Lexi reports herself pregnant - how did she know so soon? Unless Steve did it, and she's putting it on her brother. It was a good story until that hurried ending.
I LOVED THE STORY AND THOUGHT IT WAS SO PERFECT. AND I KNOW HOW PEORLE AND THE LAW SAY'S INCEST IS WRONG. BE I WILL NEVER EVER SEE TWO ADULTS THAT LOVE ONE ANOTHER BE ANYTHING BUT RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT RELATION THEY ARE TO ONE ANOTHER AS LONG AS THE ARE CONCENTING ADULTS PERIOD.4B4E
no real background a rush to sex and a piss poor end this reads like a first draft that needs major work not a postable story.
if you could be so bold with your comments, how about saying so with a name so that the person you're commenting on can get true assistance and actually get better at their writing.
as for how quick she found out. they where together for a while before the wreck, then 2 wks after is when she says she is. while i agree it seems rushed and unfinished the tie up was right but needed to be drawn out more.
Very good story right up until the end. Having the protagonist and the parents die at the end was completely unnecessary..If you wanted to have a quick ending you could have had Steve simply could have left for a different college and been out of the picture. The parents could have simply been oblivious.
You called Steve the protagonist. A protagonist is the main character of the story, which in this case would be Ben. Steve would have been the antagonist, or the adversary. This is the second time I've had to correct someone on this in the last couple weeks. If you're going to use a technical term, at least get it right.
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