Hi! I am the author of this series and I would really appreciate some feedback, as I am looking into becoming a published author and unbiased opinions would really be helpful. Thanks guys!!
Use less 'I' and 'You", and slow the story down.
There is detail there, and substance .. but it needs to flow better.
Better, compared to ch.#1.
It was a little fast
It almost seemed like you wanted the stories to be finnished ASAP
i know that you didnt mean it but i think each chapter should have SOME dialogue.
So maybe just slow it down(:
Dreamsex1130...if you're looking into becoming a published author, you really need to work on your style, punctuation, grammar etc, and SLOW down. I can guarantee I wouldn't pay for a story that is written the way you have written this, there is no substance in it at all.
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