All Comments  for

Home Sweet Home

byLavidian©
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Comments (9)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous07/05/12

C'mon !

I know it's fantasy , but c'mon ! A tube top and it's snowing? Oh and the tank top on the married woman in the train station too ! Gimme a break !

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by Anonymous07/05/12

not bad

not bad for the first part and i hope you finish it. I will love for him to get her in bed.

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by Anonymous07/05/12

not good

way too rushed and no real background, he's only home a few hours and he's trying to fuck his sister that he hasn't seen in three years. this needs a rewrite and a good editor. this reads like it should be chapter two of a series not a stand alone story. you need to tell us why he hasn't been back and why his sister is trying to seduce him. what was thier relationship like before he left for college? if his parents ignored them growingup why is his mom so insistant he go to the hotel?

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by kaidman07/05/12

dynamite

very hot you should finish this one I like that the way things are going anything can happen including various family members

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by digdaddyrich07/05/12

A good first story

I'll be glad when he fills his sister's pussy with his big cock. Perhaps she will want to move back with him when he leaves and they can live together.

Thanks for the read.

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by Anonymous07/06/12

good story

dude with the c'mon comment i laugh hard at that lol swimming in the dead of winter lol.but it his/her first story so....-BG

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by Silmarillion07/06/12

What a teaser

to get us started. Good start to what could be an excellent next chapter.

As for the mook who said something stupid about swimming in the dead of winter - ever hear of an indoor pool? Pay no attention to fools.

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by Danno_6145507/08/12

RIGHT ON BABY

Well paced and interesting.

Nice writing.

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by Anonymous11/28/13

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The most amateurish piece of crap that I have ever had the misfortune to read.

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