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Natalie-Alone Ch. 01

byPoisonlove©
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Comments (5)
by Anonymous

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by semone7707/11/12

Love it!

Hope ch. 2 will follow soon!

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by Poisonlove07/12/12

SOON

Chapter 2 was uploaded 2 days ago so within 2 more it should be online ;)

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by Anonymous07/12/12

good story

This is a good story, but the '...' get annoying after a while. And also, a story sounds better if its written in past tense.


Like the story though, hope the update appears soon.

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by Anonymous07/12/12

not bad

this story is better than the ratings suggested it would be.

i have to say, though, you change style of narration a lot. i mean not in the his point of view, her point of view thing. you interchange between 1st person narration and 3rd person narration. At times you're saying 'she is thinking this about him' which is the 3rd person narration, at times you're saying 'i am thinking this of you' which is the 1st person narration. stick to either one of them. if you're using 3rd person then only use 'i' and 'you' during speech and within speech marks ( " ).

and you know, the beginning of the story makes it sound sinister, like the guy is dead or something and its all her fault. the morpheus and 'i did this to myself' stuff is kinda dark. but the rest of the story is really light and fluffy, like a regular romance. which is kinda nice. so i really dont know what to make of this story.

hope you take the light and fluffy route. i encourage you to write further. this is good, considering its a first attempt.

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by Poisonlove07/12/12

Thank you!

Love your comments! it really helps and yes.. it has it's sinister part but that, you will only understand it by the end. I know it is a mess and chapter 2 will have some of that mess but everything has a reason.

This is a crazy romantic story so unless you are crazy, you won't understand it! lol.

Feels so good to know you liked it :D

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