I loved the premise, the story line and the way you captured the passion of the characters. Keep up the good work. Write more. *smiling
I rated it a 3. Some basic issues kept it from being higher. Punctuation. Sentence structure. Confusion about who is doing what to whom. "Her clit ached every time she slammed into her and..."
A little proof reading will go a long way to correcting those issues.
English
Great First Story
I loved the premise, the story line and the way you captured the passion of the characters. Keep up the good work. Write more. *smiling
I rated it a 3. Some basic issues kept it from being higher. Punctuation. Sentence structure. Confusion about who is doing what to whom. "Her clit ached every time she slammed into her and..."
A little proof reading will go a long way to correcting those issues.
Nathan
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