The beginning "Those were the first words I heard" supposedly refer to some heard words. What were they?
I do not care for rape and violence stories.
"...been in another's bed, sweat slicked and writhing in passion, forced to feel the pleasure..."
I was wondering who forced her to fuck the guy? It wasn't clear if they are they are pretending or actually fucking others. From the polyamorous tag, I suppose for real, but frankly the story was too short to let us know what was going on. I think it needed to be expanded considerably so that the reader could understand what was going on in their relationship.
Or maybe I needed to read it two or three times to get it. In any case I didn't get it.
The writing quality was good, and the plot good, but it didn't really connect with me.
I wish that I had not read it, since I hate the theme.... but then the other hateful ending would be the snuff theme..
Kayla, This is a good start. I believe the story line simply needs to be a little bit longer, and do agree with the comment about first words. What were the first words she heard?
The title was the reference to 'first words she hears!'
The story seems clear and complete. These are serial swingers, each taking a night out then 'punishing' the 'sinner' upon her (and presumably his) return 'home!' Although Sweetie's punishment for Hubby tomorrow morning may not be as physical as his was this morning!
The only Ch.2 I can imagine would be her tactic the next day, BUT even that will lose the important element of suspense because we will know it is, as titled, 'A Game!'
is stupid, ignorant, self debasing, and suicidal, maybe after a year or so of testing. The reason i dont believe in keeping a cheating spouse, no sex at all or kissing for at least 12 to 18 months of testing after 18 months you can almost believe 99% negative.
mingled with jealousy and deceit, TK U MLJ LV NV
One anon stated that this was a good start. I say its one and done.
Story was fine. Anger and hate fire the husband to violence. Wife's thoughts seemed to tell little about her. Wife seemed dazed and confused as though a roofie may have been involved.
Best of luck with your future projects.
So much as a theme (like the ones we wrote in high school.) This isn't a piece with enough content to critique.
is part of 'the game'.They both have sex with others then the other spouse 'catches' them and pretends to 'take it out on them' The title says it all
1 star to counter the 5 star "Excellent" comment yet another willing cuckold gets sloppy seconds.
Clearly, they have an open marriage. After one swings, the other pretends to be angry as they reconnect sexually. Reportedly (I've never swung, but I've read about it), it is common for a couple to make love after having sex with others. In cases of swinging groups, the members are screened for STD's and their personalities. When picking up strangers, there are greater risks for STD's as well as looney people (i.e., Fatal Attraction). Not sure LW is the correct category, but this was well-written and original. Four stars. Thanks for writing.
Does she get to scratch his eyes out when he comes home tomorrow night
Oddly, when I submitted this quickly written story, it took off the very first line. "You fucking Whore"
Those were supposed to be the first words that Stephanie heard. So I can see where that landed a bit of confusion on the matter.
As everyone is completely entitled to their thoughts and opinions, I would like to thank everyone that commented.. yes, even the neg comments. Helps me learn after all.
The Point of Stephanie and Austin's game is as one person put it.. They swap.. They swing.. They play the game of danger, and in future installments, it will be seen why and how they continue to do it.
Again, thank you for the comments, votes, and the rates, both good and bad.
Needs a lot more explanation of what's really going on... Confusing... Are they really doing others or just role playing... The back story, how did they get to wear they are now? How does polyamorous fit in?
Wife abuser and woman hater.
It needed a lot more.
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