by bi_sub_girl_kylie
There is no reason to write in the second person. First person has the advantage of the reader being actually in the mind of the writer. Third person has the advantage of omnipotence, being able to see into the mind of any of the characters, Second person has no advantage and can be extremely awkward to read. IN the third person the writer can tell the reader what the character is feeling. In the first and second persons the writer can only guess at what another character is feeling because the writer has no way of knowing.
I like your story, although I wish it was more clear that the dom was Asian and the sub was white.