All Comments on 'Cousin's Desire Becomes Real'

Hi, man. I really envy you have such a wonderful and caring cousin-sister.

It was ok, might have some potential, but the only couple of things I find wrong with this story is this: Too short, Too fast paced, not enough detail. In future stories you need to make the story last so people can savor it down to the very last detail.

...and I want to see you write more. You have some very sweet images - but the story does not build, just jumps around and then, whammo! Could be twice as long with some development, motive, foreplay.

I did enjoy what there was of it. Way too short and not enough detail. Now that the excitement of the first time is over maybe it will get more detailed.

If voting were turned on ... nice job - got me hard and wanting more.

no real background about their relationship before this and no proper end equals a half assed story. half a story(and this is way less than half) is worse than no story at all. either do it completly and correctly or not at all get an editor and do a rewrite and always use an editor before posting.

Kind of rushed first time for these two. But then, having leisured sex with your cousin might not be possible when grandpa and other family members are roaming around the house.

She still didn't get much out of it. That sucks.

I think this story is a wonderful seedling for an explosion into a great story! Yes, as others have said, fill it out, give it body, make it live! This reunion could be the start of a great relationship as well as a wonderful series.

Keep writing.

Joe

who are they and why should we care if they fuck? where's the background? where's the character development? where's the plot? this nothing but a cheap wham bam thankyou maam story.