All Comments on 'What She Needs Ch. 11'

Thanks for continuing to write this series, it's much appreciated. And as for the bashing, I imagine a lot of the people jeering Laura for sleeping with someone else would cheer David on and give him a high-five for doing the exact same thing. There's a lot of sexual hypocrisy on the internet, especially among some male readers. Best to just ignore trolls like them.

Well written; and if the reading between the lines stuff were in print, this chapter would be well over 4 pages long.

Can hardly wait for the next chapter or two. It is turning into one hell of a hilarious story.

First, Laura gets upset that Sean treats her like the skank she is: she jumps from bed to bed, and is upset that he wants to put his 'bed' into the hat. why not?

David gets an atta-boy for calling it right, she is a slut; but gets an aw-shit for trying to pull off his lame-ass version of the 'bros before hoes' excuse.

...and one aw-shit wipes out 10 atta-boys. So dear old David is way behind.

This IS getting funny. Am looking forward to the next few chapters. Should be a hoot.

sooooo, stealth, do you like it or not?

lol

I've been waiting for these installments so impatiently! You just keep making it harder to wait!

It will be interesting to see how you wrap this up, now that David has told his true feelings and forced Laura to confront emotions she's decided to run from for so long.

I cannot wait for the next installment!

Yes, and No.

Allow me to explain.

I was and am very impressed by your ability to create characters and make them believable. likable, and 'real', for lack of a better word.

The first several chapters made David and Laura out to be people that made the reader want good things for them, and to happen for and to them. They remind you of people that you know, or have met. Real persons, with strengths and weaknesses, good points and not-so-good points of character and outlook. Not like so many characters in fiction: either stereotypes or caricatures.

Chapter 10 kinda shot that all to hell. What had been only alluded to as far as Laura's outlook and attitude regarding sex, relationships, and life, was dropped like a ton of bricks in ch. 10. on the reader's head:

Her insistence that she's not interested in 'a relationship' followed up by jumping into bed with whoever she felt like jumping into bed with at that moment put the lie to the notion that she was or is any kind of a mature, considerate, or aware person. It just showed her to completely self centered and self absorbed. ALL that matters to her is what SHE wants, when SHE wants it. And to HELL with what anyone else might think or feel about it.

She never even thought to consider what or how David might feel about her screwing Jesse. The concept was and is TOTALLY foreign to her mindset and outlook.

Chapter 11 is actually amazing in how you wrote it. Some writers can barely come up with the thoughts or storyline to fill in the words they write. In chapter 11, you, kajira girl, filled each sentence and paragraph to overflowing: just about every sentence and paragraph had several paragraphs [in invisible ink] following them.

Where you take your characters from here, and what you do to and with them, I have no idea. David's and Laura's "conversation" was so typical of real life: they talked AT each other, not TO each other.

Whether or not they can find a way to both talk to each other, and understand each other.....who knows.

...stealth

awesome and thanks. what an insight, i am beaming and ready to finish this up and see what you think.

I had a similar situation once, a few years back. I wonder if you ending will will be what happened to me.

Great story, hope the ending works out better for David than it did for me.

So damn good! And yes I am still Team David! And not because he can give her more than Jesse, but because they both seem to make each other better people. And under all that hot sexual tension is the friendship that built up over the beginning chapters.

My comment about which “SHE” in “What She Needs

A. Laura, the character;

B. kajira_girl, the author;

C. You the female or male inside kajira_girl, the author or;

D. You the male:

If you were interested in any of the four, particularly, C.

I would love it if you call me at 1-206 419 6696.

A special thanks for your story. I’m enjoying it immensely and the Mystery behind YOU;

Ed