All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 05'

by Absolutelywickedthoughts

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  • 40 Comments
Seansrickson189Seansrickson189over 11 years ago

Great story, please don't wait too longtime release the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Please Continue

This is just great. You've brought me into the story, instead of reading I feel more like an observer. Please, more and soon...

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Awesome!

See what happens when you slow down a bit:) Don't listen to all the impatient people, write the good story you are writing...at your own pace. Damn that was good! Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Branding much?

What catalogs did you read before writing this story? Are you metro or just a fashion enthusiast?

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
awesome

plz have sex with the teacher egen and fuck mor older women

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Fantastic

I love that you actually write a story and don't just write sex. Please continue this style, I can't wait to see where you take this next.

storloverstorloverover 11 years ago
Great story!

You started a very nice story!

Please go on with this nice work!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
yes, but...

You might want to slow down even a bit more when it comes to checking details. A five-mile run in 15 minutes? The world record for a mile run is a fraction over 3:43. I think his father gave him more powers than he realizes...

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Get an Editor!

This story could be very good if it weren't for the enormous amount of spelling, usage, and punctuation errors.

Two boobs are breasts not breast as has been pointed out by at least two other people. A bank may be elegant but I have never known one to be eloquent. And, when an action produces good results, it bears fruit it doesn't bare it.

Poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation have made what could be a great story into one that is clearly written by someone who is careless and does not listen to criticism.

Too bad.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
brilliant

wow , what a great story, i am thoroughly enjoying it . yes there are some gramatical errors , just ignore the detractors and pedants this is one of the very best stories ever

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

So far this looks to be written by a kid with an overactive imagination. I can't make any sense of the plot, what with all the grammatical errors and the nonsensical details its been filled with. What the fuck do we care about what brands he's wearing, or what the dimensions of his frigging room are.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
get a good editor

if you want to have people read your stories it is imperative that you get someone to read them before posting. A woman has breasts not breast.

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
Didn't he already solve this problem?

or did the author forget what he had John do in chapter 02 regarding his mother and the ring?

"You will no longer be attracted to me, sexually." John stated flatly. He watched her face frown. "You are to act as the loving mother you have always been. You are not nor have you ever been sexual attraction to me. I am you son and that would be wrong. Do you understand?"

Mary said, "Yes, Johnny. I understand. Sex with my son would be wrong. No sex with Johnny"

I hate it when that happens.

EdandMarieEdandMarieover 9 years ago
Not My Genre, But You've Hooked Me

The storyline is inventive and I appreciate your pacing.

I would agree with others that an editor is needed, twice it read "might" when it should have been "mighty", double words or the wrong tense such as "hear" when it should have been "heard".

Something else that so many make the mistake of, cup size and measurement are not tied together. Increasing a cup size from B to DD or A to C doesn't change the measurement from 32 to 36. The measurement is taken below the breasts, then the difference of a measurement over the nipple tells the cup size. It's often seen when someone describes a woman as 110 pounds with 44DD tits...never happens in life.

I still am reading the other chapters, but ever little error takes away from your very good story. Thanks for taking the time to post.

malloystermalloysteralmost 9 years ago
I agree with the others...

Great story, but you need an editor. Because the story is so good, I gave it five stars for many of these segments. But still, you need an editor.

RB1947RB1947almost 8 years ago
Do you

even read these before posting them? Some words you use correctly and then incorrectly soon after, so I assume you know correct spelling and grammar. Please get someone to proof read your stuff before posting them. You have a good story buried under the apparent lack of knowledge of the English language.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
shuttering versus shuddering--they are not the same

Read the title. An editor would make a great series easier to read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
I gave this a "1" because the horrible spelling and grammar made it often not understandable

I gave this a "1" because the horrible spelling and grammar made it often not understandable, despite many good and interesting ideas.

jkthekatjkthekatabout 7 years ago
Lookie Lookie

I gave this a five because of the very arousing action going on. I feel this is a site for original erotica to amuse, arouse and entertain me.[ not me alone] Shit I'm married to a teacher, my lover was a teacher, my daughters... etc. sooooo. if you are seeking good writing skills lend a hand and edit for the people who need it! At first I certainly did.

Jkthekat

[ Jack the kat for you discriminating readers ]

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Can we stop inflating every single woman's breasts?

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

Too much sex.. not enough plot... and way too long to get to even a little backstory... and as many have told you.... for God's sake get an editor.... also... compelling someone to have sex with you is rape... and the excuse that the teacher's husband was "likely" cheating on her... was a weak one in an effort to maintain his good guy status...

-jaye-

JohnnyGaltJohnnyGaltover 6 years ago
Get a fucking editor

You continue to make exceedingly basic errors of grammar and word usage

and it completely interferes with the flow of the story when one comes across them

And as others have mentioned, big tits may be YOUR thing, but that doesn't mean everyone demands them from every woman he "assists"

MattKesterMattKesterabout 6 years ago
Excellent story. Bad editing.

I am really enjoying this story, and I love the overall plot.

However, it needs some deep editing. Usage, spelling, and punctuation are off. This distracts from the story and becomes a hindrance in reading.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Fantastic!

This story is just fantastic, and the sex isn't that bad too! Lets hope you can keep it up!

DaddywantsmilkDaddywantsmilkover 3 years ago
Love it

I'm loving the story so far but I am disappointed that you keep super sizing the tits of the small breasted girls/women instead of just making them happy with what they've got. I love girls with small tits so I'm really sad about this. Otherwise and great story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Shutters are ON A HOUSE... a person shudders and shakes...

And I agree with the breast thing.... Im a total breast man but shape is everything and size is nothing....

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
breastman also

I am not real fond of tiny breasts. Nice shapely B's are fine, but firm well shaped C's or even D's are my favorite. I also don't care for the huge breasts. If I had to put them in order of preference, C's, D's, B's, A's, but shape and firmness matters, anything bigger than DD's is a turnoff for me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The story was interesting. More fascinating, however was your comedic use of the English language. A ghostly voice was "disemboweled". Hilarious. A sleepy hero "dosed" off. Plot? Characters? OK. Mehhhh. Malapropisms? 5 stars

Jack506Jack506about 2 years ago

The concept and storyline are interesting and fairly engaging, but I find the mother problem a little off-putting with the flip-flopping. The sex is a little pedestrian, and the writing could definitely use proofreading and editing. I also dislike the enlargement of the smaller breasted women, but that is personal preference. Should be 3 1/2 stars so 4 for benefit of the doubt.

Tili2Tili2almost 2 years ago

Oh my god… I have been wet since the first page all I can think about is you possessing me…, Tili2@beeble.com contact me Master

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Wonderful story, needs some editing but an engaging piece of fiction. John is a sincerely nice guy and that makes all the difference that he's trying to figure out the best ways to benefit others, with the help of his dad, who apparently learned his lesson.

Michael56SmithMichael56Smithover 1 year ago

"Dad, about Mom, and the diamond in her labia, talk to me''. Whoa, more story/plot twists, ... and I am so in love with Elizabeth! ... and John may soon enjoy Mary, ... and I hope April has been keeping busy, ... This tale is quite a delightful read, despite all the typos, ... ;-) TTFN

GrandEagle53GrandEagle53over 1 year ago

Another author infatuated with large body parts sighhhhhhhh

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Good plot - lousy continuity and grammar. Pay attention to verb form and tense. Use editors. Remove senseless prepositions. Humongous body parts are distracting.

roveroneroveroneover 1 year ago

obviously typos/grammar/tense never going to be corrected-c'est la vie-tho getting to be a grind

and all the women he's been enjoying remarkable 'capacity', or don't have cervixes...he considerably larger than the biggest cocks in porn, and recharges faster than a billy goat....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

I kept being distracted by the incorrect use of shuttered and quiet.

Windows can be shuttered and people can be quiet & you can rent a suite of rooms in a hotel. Your body can shake lightly & shudder at a horrid thought & be quite upset while not talking & be quiet.

Homophones ruin a great conceptualized tale. Dang how much effort can it take to run a replace all program?

Still 5 stars, but please correct a great story.

Bill S.

blackknight314blackknight3149 months ago

Great job, thanks for sharing your work.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

"Bared fruit" ?? Ignorant or incompetent - get a proofreader or editor or something...

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Some men (like me) enjoy B and C cup breasts and a cock doesn't have to be ridiculously large to be enjoyable to a woman. Because there does not appear to be any editing even after it has been called out again and again, I will pile on as well. I can't tell you how much this interrupts the flow of what could be a good story that goes beyond fucking. Please get someone to edit your work!

HydranDaDaHydranDaDa2 months ago

The story is enthralling… A very fun read. Please proofread for grammar and spelling and PLEASE learn his bra sizes work lol. The number is the circumference of the ribcage and the letter is the cup size of the breasts. Other than this one discrepancy, the storyline has me hooked. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous
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