Who needs Viagra with Holly around? Hot, but also romantic and very realistic. I reject your name, but wholeheartedly accept your reality. 5*s and good luck in the contest!
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Great
5*s but needs a second chapter to finish it off in my opinion
by
Anonymous08/24/12
I liked it.
Great story, but I think it needs another chapter to finish the story.
This is the way stories are supposed to be - loving, caring and romantic. Please write more stories, or at the very least please tell me what happens next? . . .5* and good luck!
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Vivid
Really vivid potrayal. great work. Cud actually visualize it. True, hot erotica. Any fact element or is it pure fiction??
I really appreciated the way you delineated Alan's and Holly's characters before placing them in a sexual situation. Alan's reluctance was a nice touch, too.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Loved it.
Just hot, and Alan's reluctance made it more powerful in a way. Also, a bit of karma. He had taken a chance on her, and she had done her best for him, and he couldn't say no to doing his best for her, once he was sure that's what she wanted.
My only complaint is, it was almost at the bottom of the first page where I learned the story-teller was male. It might have been a female boss hiring a young woman. The word "Alan" might have been worked in earlier, or something like "sir" or "Mr. Smith" or something to make it clear it was a man hiring a woman assistant.
Nice erotic story though. Don't we all wish this could happen to us? "I reject my reality and substitute your own."
by
Anonymous08/25/12
Literature
A very good buildup of the personalities and characters of the parties involved leads to romantics then to erotica.
You owe your readers a followup.
Gave you 5* and hope you get first prize and write more good stories.
Just wanted to say thanks to all the anonymous people who have commented. I'll reply to the individual comments in a little while.
This story has a better than average chance of becoming my first multi-parter, because I already have a couple of ideas to continue it that aren't just sex and more sex.
I hope there's a part 2 to this story, it was very sexy and cock raising.
by
Anonymous08/29/12
No title
I'm more than twice your age, and your comments at the bottom of your biography seemed detached and nearly cold. Your story, on the other hand, was totally warm and tender. I felt pure love. Hope you'll write more about Alan and Holly and that your other works will reflect the same gentleness that this did.
by
Anonymous08/29/12
O M G!
My goodness--I wish my first time--and every time after--were like that. There was only ever one man I begged to take me like that. And I thought of him while I came reading this story...right along with the characters. Bien!
This is probably one of the best I have read on this site. The sexual tension from the beginning to the break point before the next chapter in this steamy love affair. The hint of forbidden love, boss & assistant, almost like Alan became a surrogate father taking his daughter cherry, to teach her how real should treat his baby girl. I was truly excited and unloaded a couple of times just from the intense description you provided in this hot story. Thank you.
that was truly an incredibly wonderful story!! thank you so much!!
by
Anonymous09/21/12
Masterfully Done
Very, Very Hot, Very Bothered, and waiting with baited breath for chapter 2,3,4... You really know how to tell an amazing story. Good character development, good pace, nice plot progression, and very intelligently presented. You, obviously, know how to tell a story! Please don't let this story end here; it's much too good to let end with this chapter.
English
Damn good.
Who needs Viagra with Holly around? Hot, but also romantic and very realistic. I reject your name, but wholeheartedly accept your reality. 5*s and good luck in the contest!
Great
5*s but needs a second chapter to finish it off in my opinion
I liked it.
Great story, but I think it needs another chapter to finish the story.
Well done.
Had a great sexy real feel to it. Nice work.
Good Job
This is the way stories are supposed to be - loving, caring and romantic. Please write more stories, or at the very least please tell me what happens next? . . .5* and good luck!
Vivid
Really vivid potrayal. great work. Cud actually visualize it. True, hot erotica. Any fact element or is it pure fiction??
Very good
A very fine story.
Terrific story
I really appreciated the way you delineated Alan's and Holly's characters before placing them in a sexual situation. Alan's reluctance was a nice touch, too.
Loved it.
Just hot, and Alan's reluctance made it more powerful in a way. Also, a bit of karma. He had taken a chance on her, and she had done her best for him, and he couldn't say no to doing his best for her, once he was sure that's what she wanted.
Outstanding
Great job on creating very likeable characters, as well as a good plot to lead to some excellent erotic moments. Please write more!
Yes, please...
...I have nothing more to add. Just yes, please... pick me, pick me! I'd like to be Alan's assistant. Or yours.
Wonderul story...
Good luck! This is one of the hottest stories I have ever read...
Loved it!
Please, continue the story.
Outstanding
very nice series of events, even if based on many coincidences. I like it very much.
My Fantasy
Thank you for giving life to my fantasy.
Nice guy finishes first
Loved reading a story, where the nice guy finishes first.
Erotic story
My only complaint is, it was almost at the bottom of the first page where I learned the story-teller was male. It might have been a female boss hiring a young woman. The word "Alan" might have been worked in earlier, or something like "sir" or "Mr. Smith" or something to make it clear it was a man hiring a woman assistant.
Nice erotic story though. Don't we all wish this could happen to us? "I reject my reality and substitute your own."
Literature
A very good buildup of the personalities and characters of the parties involved leads to romantics then to erotica.
You owe your readers a followup.
Gave you 5* and hope you get first prize and write more good stories.
waiting...
... for you to continue! really good and nice story!
Thank you!
Just wanted to say thanks to all the anonymous people who have commented. I'll reply to the individual comments in a little while.
This story has a better than average chance of becoming my first multi-parter, because I already have a couple of ideas to continue it that aren't just sex and more sex.
It did get me hot and bothered
I hope there's a part 2 to this story, it was very sexy and cock raising.
No title
I'm more than twice your age, and your comments at the bottom of your biography seemed detached and nearly cold. Your story, on the other hand, was totally warm and tender. I felt pure love. Hope you'll write more about Alan and Holly and that your other works will reflect the same gentleness that this did.
O M G!
My goodness--I wish my first time--and every time after--were like that. There was only ever one man I begged to take me like that. And I thought of him while I came reading this story...right along with the characters. Bien!
true erotic hot love
This is probably one of the best I have read on this site. The sexual tension from the beginning to the break point before the next chapter in this steamy love affair. The hint of forbidden love, boss & assistant, almost like Alan became a surrogate father taking his daughter cherry, to teach her how real should treat his baby girl. I was truly excited and unloaded a couple of times just from the intense description you provided in this hot story. Thank you.
hot bothered and oh so beautifully written
that was truly an incredibly wonderful story!! thank you so much!!
Masterfully Done
Very, Very Hot, Very Bothered, and waiting with baited breath for chapter 2,3,4... You really know how to tell an amazing story. Good character development, good pace, nice plot progression, and very intelligently presented. You, obviously, know how to tell a story! Please don't let this story end here; it's much too good to let end with this chapter.
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