All Comments on 'The Desert Night'

by MSTarot

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  • 16 Comments
SNAGuySNAGuyover 11 years ago

Now this is what I call erotic literature. What a pleasure it was to read your story, told with images and allusions to the man's past, rather than the explicitness that so many other writers here prefer. To me your writing is very cinematic and you know what they say in film: show, don't tell. That's what you've done here. You've set the mood of darkness and captured the soldier's capacity for heightened awareness exceedingly well.

Your sentence "An old soldier's urge to kill..." is vivid and effective in helping us to understand the man's past and present reality. The last sentence is equally stark. Well done.

ReiDeBastosReiDeBastosover 11 years ago
Nicely written, but...

I was going to say that I don't know why this was in the "Mature" section but, upon reflection, I wonder why it is on Literotica, period. It is tangentially (at best) related to anything sexual. Perhaps it belongs in the Non-Erotic section?

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Fantastic story

Your ability to relate the emotions and memories of the main character is outstanding. I was drawn in by him respecting others. Then I felt the conclusion of the story satisfying, answering all the questions I had while moving through the story. Well done.

trite_readertrite_readerover 11 years ago
Wow

Stunning piece of writing.

BenLongBenLongabout 11 years ago
Wow

Wow Tarot - fantastic piece of writing. Visually stunning, emotionally moving. I've got chills running down my back. An exceptional story, and well deserving of more than the coveted E!

Bravo.

raconteuseraconteuseabout 11 years ago
Sensitively handled

I've read several of your stories. They're exquisitely sensitive, delicately revealed, sparely written. I particularly enjoyed this one. You've managed to overcome some of the writing problems you've encountered previously. But I barely notice those, for the heart of the story is in the telling which is always achieved with touching sensibility.I wanted to include some examples of sections that moved me – but I can't choose. It's all gorgeous. Keep writing, please. You're wonderful.

jengx4jengx4about 11 years ago

This was a truly incredible story, the depth of feeling was perfect. For many years (through my past with guys) I believed that men had no feeling, you have so proved me wrong. This story was very moving and truly great. Thank you.

OleguyOleguyabout 11 years ago
Mind blowing.

I usually only comment on my personal reaction to an excellent story.

Assuming this was fiction and from the depths of my ignorance of the customs and life of the proponents I do wish he could have saved her.

There I have done it, and aired my preference on a damn good author's plot.

partial2passionpartial2passionalmost 11 years ago
So many great moments...

This story has so many wonderful moments but this one:

"...the sharp gold leafed nails biting into my back as we of different faiths found heaven together."

Gave me chills... seriously beautiful work. A friend sent this story my way and I'm grateful. I've read this many many times and I often come back to get inspired. Great imagery. It's amazing that such a short piece can evoke such emotion. Great job.

peachesmelbapeachesmelbaalmost 11 years ago
Wonderful Story

Thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

touching story, one can almost feel the emotions smell see and hear the place

chytownchytownalmost 10 years ago
Good Read***

Thanks for sharing.

xelliebabexxelliebabexabout 9 years ago

I can't help but wish there was a happier end to this. Having said that it was beautifully envisioned and well worthy of my stars :D

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Exquisite...stunning...heartbreaking...

Deserves 50 stars, but I can only give 5.

Anonymous
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