All Comments on 'Shadows on the Sun Porch'

Where do all the 1st grade dropouts come from as any 2nd grade student knows the difference and proper slang for this type of story. It takes a real dunce to mix "come" when its "cum" for orgasm, semen, etc. especially numerous and frequently. Doing this wrecks a story. So in the future please all authors use the proper slang.

I actually liked your story despite the "error".

Wonderful build up, great orgasm. Could use something more after the orgasm. Maybe the story ends with Rachel & Jenny clasping hands. Then, the next chapter can pick right up from there. I hope you will give us more.

Thank you for the kind feedback! This is the first story I've done, and it's nice to see that some people like it. I agree that the ending is a bit sudden. I admit that I wasn't sure where to go, so I erred on the side of stopping, rather than wandering. However, I will take your comments to heart.

As for the use of the word "cum," I think the author of that first comment will have to get used to disappointment with my stories; I just dislike the word. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.

You did a really good job with this story. It's well written and confident, a great start to your writing career. An enjoyable read with realistic situations and characters.

Oh ... and 'anonymous', get over yourself. Whether the word cum or come is used makes no difference. We all know what's meant. Author's preference trumps your petty bitching.

I look forward to more of your work cannyjack.

Let's see where you take it now. I hope it's not just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.

According to Dictionary.com, the word "come" was first used in reference to orgasm in a poem called "Walking in a Meadowe Greene" in 1650. The alternate spelling "cum" has only been around since the 1970's, and was presumably a derivation of the word "come." Neither spelling is incorrect when erotic writing is concerned.

I've read about ten of these summer contest stories now and this is the only one I've liked so far. It's very easy to read, it flows well, and the action builds slowly but steadily. I'd suggest a bit more dialogue and character development in the sequel, if you choose to write one.