that thinks about structure, a new writer, ok some of it is bad, but here is the best part, you'll get better. from what i see you are trying to at the beginning of the lines and within the stanzas, you'll get better quickly
4 for effort
I read all your stories and poems and watched your progress here. Maybe this isn't your best work but it's honest. Truthfully, you worry me. You are going through a sad period of your life but it's only a small piece of it. Don't give up writing. Don't give up loving either even if it hurts. Best wishes.
Ups and downs are part of everyone's life. It's never too late to change directions if you can see you're heading in the wrong one.
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