by SluttyRachel
I sense a greater level of arousal and passion than is directly communicated through the story. I enjoyed it but it might have been much more erotic if it was written in the first person or if there was more dialogue between characters. Nevertheless, it is very good first effort. I look forward to reading more stories from you.
you really must write more that is entirely too short for a story that obviously has so much more to it. this is actually a good read, I see too many poorly written stories that just drag on to accept such a well written one to be a single page.
Too short and like many writers on here don't have a clue where the Hymen is located, shoving three fingers into her Virgina would have already torn through the Hymen.
Perhaps that old fart should write a submission on the subject then all new writers would be properly indoctrinated on the subject matter.