I honestly don't know why. The details are there. The story line is pretty good. The main character is really clear and becoming real.
But something about the story is not connecting for me. Maybe it is that the antagonist is TOO powerful. Sure, when you have that much power, you do what you want. But it doesn't seem like someone with that kind of power would want to do that. There must be people in her history that she would want to humiliate more than some stranger in a coffee shop. Even is she was HOT, you might want to use her for some other reason. Maybe it is just a kink I don't get.
But to be clear, I think my issues are just my issues. I thing the story is very well written and really moving along well.
I like the mix of total control and the "trapped in your mind" type of control. I like that she seems to very slowly appear to be taking pleasure in her humiliation. I also like that although Mistress is all-powerful, she is actually taken with the lead character. She wants to humiliate her, but she's also genuinely attracted to her. Hope you keep updating this story, this chapter made me like the storyline a lot more.
I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter and agree with naivesluts comment regarding the building relationships between the two. Yes, Mistress is powerful yet she's appears to have a weakness - a strong desire for her new pet. This is displayed in Mistress' response to her inadvertent command to come, when She took a moment to pleasure Herself - nice touch! The telling from the first person is compelling, as well, making the detailed actions more... genuine (if that's the word). Quite erotic and a fitting follow-up to Chapter 1!
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