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Porcelain Altar: redux

byHarryHill©
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Comments (7)
by Anonymous

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by Desejo10/04/12

Well.... I am well and thoroughly confused. Is the poet writing computer code in the can?! And..two lids down? Must be a female about...

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by butters10/04/12

made me smile :)

enjoyed the opening and finish for their originality

this central piece reads as a limerick but, for me, would read even cleaner with either an extra syllable in its last line OR by removing one or two beforehand. for example:

The Anon for the most part are kind.

The Invisible are fickle but fair,

but for the most part I find

the most critical Mind

is the one that sits here in this chair.

OR

The Anon for the most part are kind,

the Invisible fickle but fair;

for the most part I find

the most critical mind

is the one sitting here in this chair/is the one that sits here in this chair.

.......................

edit. x

Now go wash your hands
just my thoughts, HH. don't get in a crappy mood, k? :p

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by HarryHill10/04/12

Edit x+1

Saw flaws as soon as it dropped
this would have worked to avoid repetion

but actually I find

the most critical Mind

often sits in this chair.
...
Not in a crappy mood, explained concept to Desejo in an EM she may share it with you if you ask
.................. thanks all

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by HarryHill10/04/12

Missed the joke

Chipbutty you are so sly!

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by tazz31710/04/12

THE PORCELAIN GOD HIMSELF

beckons all that falter from the demom spirits, TK U MLJ LV NV

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by twelveoone10/04/12

anon, anon

anon no mous
come on out
an show your puss

is that why you put the lid down, harry?
ok i had fun, 5

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by demure10110/05/12

broad grin -

great!

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