by sexykitten123
I loved the premise... but would so love you to give more characterisation to the story! It deserves that. 5 stars though :)
I go with the critic who was constructive re adding characterisation. As for the critic who wrote 'bad bad bad', my advice is ignore them. Their grammar was not up to shakes so how can they even dare to critique?
I enjoyed reading this and thought it to be very arousing.